Words
Hashtags
Users
 
7 Day History
Now
Holding your crotch while you brush your teeth so your gag reflex doesn’t make you pee... and all the other glamorous things of Motherhood.
me: i sent her thirteen texts she didnt answer

priest: kinda weird but not a sin

me: shes gonna answer tho right lol

priest: no
I used to wear my heart on my sleeve, now I just wear sleeveless shirts.
Sorry...Didn’t realize my Clapper would shut off your Hitachi.
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