@captainkalvis | 187,177 followers
saying "go fuck yourself"

- lame
- outdated
- will make you sound like a peasant

saying "youre a coward and history will forget you"

- bold
- intense
- will make you sound like you have a fuckton of doubloons

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Total of 218 replies and 292 quotes found
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
"I will beat you up" - lame - unorginal - hollow threat "I will weave a scarf from your veins and wear it to your funeral" - new - exciting - exceptionally terrifying
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
I like to use "you will die unmourned and unremembered"
 
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
Is it possible to marry a tweet?
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
Big Doubloon Energy.
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
"This is why no one will remember your name" is my personal favorite.
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
Saying "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. -creative -timeless -will make them go away so you won't need to taunt them a second time
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
*lights cigarette and stares wistfully into the distance* history will forget us all
 
Saying "go fuck yourself"

- lame
- outdated
- will make you sound like a peasant

saying "you鈥檙e not pretty enough to have a shitty personality鈥

- bold
- intense
- automatically wins any argument
- 10/10 will cause future altercations
 
The latter is my style of insult haha 馃馃徎
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
I dunno. Saying "history will forget you," will only make me think of the original translation for Final Fantasy Tactics and I'll start giggling. pic.twitter.com/KRyFj62nAF
 
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
鈥淟ame鈥 and 鈥渙utdated鈥 mushed together in my brain and read that as 鈥 will make you ovulate鈥 and I was like, fair.
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
I once told someone who said a racist joke at me 鈥淪hut up, when your gone no one will remember you.鈥 Does that count for anything cause his reaction sent me places man lmao
 
 
 
That's some "Your bloodline is weak and you won't survive the winter" Vibes
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
Love the post, but please don't use 'lame' as an insult, it's ableist. Thanks! 鉂わ笍
 
 
saying 鈥測a better wALK yer fecking cunt鈥

- very powerful
- australian
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
Imagine someone being like "Run me my Doubloons" 馃槀馃槀馃槀
 
Definitely doing this from now on
 
Wow if someone said this to me in the heat of the moment, I would definitely stop in my tracks and think about my place in this world, the meaning of my existence and my purpose in life... such a good insult! But it can鈥檛 be used on someone who has achieved more than you. Lol
 
Ali says shit like this all the time and it stings
 
sounds like something dwight schrute would say
 
Or do it like Dolores, it's long but powerful: "They say that great beasts once roamed this world, as big as mountains. Yet all that鈥檚 left of them is bone and amber. Time undoes even the mightiest of creatures. Just look at what it鈥檚 done to you." pic.twitter.com/BMaBJ6Hqwj
 
As铆 insultan os comunistas unironicaly
twitter.com/captainkalvis/鈥
 
Burr invented it, Hamilton felt it
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
i guess we鈥檙e peasants then馃し馃徎鈥嶁檧锔弚e say this like 20 times a day to each other
 
next time someone wants to try me
 
 
Every morning I look in the mirror and I tell myself 鈥測ou鈥檙e a coward and history will forget you鈥 it has made me a stronger person and now after doing this every day for 3 years I don鈥檛 start crying until I get to the word forget!!
 
 
No one I know says coward more than @_hurricanesandy. A true revolutionary in the art of insulting.
 
Go fuck yourself bitch
 
 
saying 鈥渆at shit and die鈥
- lame
- outdated
- makes you sound 15

saying 鈥渆at shit and live鈥
- horrifying in its implication
- sleepaway camp bonus
- makes you sound 15 but otherworldly
 
PC culture is dumb as hell.
 
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
Hypnotized lyric change? 馃馃馃馃
 
 
assino embaixo馃拕馃拫
 
In reply to @ConnorHolasek
@ConnorHolasek I can just hear this vividly
 
Toda pessoa de esquerda que diz que fulano vai para a lata de lixo da Hist贸ria (inclusive eu), leu esse tweet aqui e ficou emocionado demais:
 
upgrade to charlotte york鈥檚 鈥渋 curse the day you were born鈥 for clear skin
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
made me think of you 馃槀馃槀
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
I like to say 鈥測ou will not survive the winter鈥
 
Fuckton of Dubloons 馃槀
 
Lars curses like the second one.
 
I call people cowards all the time for deleting tweets. Lol
 
 
saying 鈥測ou鈥檙e a piece of shit and i can prove it mathematically.鈥

-awesome
-sounds methodical
-may get you a collective hivemind lover
 
trotsky to the mensheviks at the all russian congress of soviets in october 1917
 
I will now be changing my way of saying things to this.
 
In reply to @premeesaurus
@premeesaurus we are always interested in representing our fuckton of doubloons, aren't we Skip? :D
 
 
袨, 锌褉懈泻芯谢褜薪芯, 邪 褟 褌邪泻 锌芯-褉褍褋褋泻懈 薪械泻芯褌芯褉褘屑 屑械褉蟹邪胁褑邪屑 胁 懈薪褌械褉薪械褌械 褌邪泻 懈 谐芯胁芯褉褞.
 
I鈥檓 gonna start saying this
 
I can def see mike saying both of these
 
 
Wasup with the doubloonsssss
 
 
In reply to @Rluna_10
 
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
this needs to be used at work 馃槀
 
 
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
Call them an "uneducated poodle" and they'll be confused for days.
 
 
 
I鈥檓 going to try my hardest to switch to option 2 haha
 
I now feel the need to use "history will forget you" to insult anyone who tests my patience.
 
Bold statement specially for a social science major lmao!!
 
I have a fuckton of doubloons 馃槀馃槀
 
Ito talaga ibabanat ko sa katrabaho ko next time na matrigger niya kami sa sama ng ugali niya. 馃槀
 
alex claremont diaz ghostwrote this
 
 
 
In reply to @Ray12696
@Ray12696 @WeeenMachine @rymckinkyy idk why but I can see you guys saying some shit like this
 
gusto ko magsnap si @dazzzIed tapos sabihin niya sakin to
 
well then
Peter Lim, you are a coward and history will forget you
 
 
 
 
History does NOT have its eyes on you, sir.
 
 
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
this reminds me of Arthur Schopenhauer, who once told his mom (a famous novelist no less!) that history would never remember her except as the mother of her son
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
鈥淚 hope your day is as wonderful as you are鈥 is an insult that sounds like a compliment unless the recipient is self-aware enough to realize he is an asshole.
 
 
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
also a way to most likely get the shit beat out of you but okay. two things that will upset humans more than anything else....call them stupid or call them a coward.... like I tell someone to fuck off they mad I tell someone they a fucking coward they shoot me to prove me wrong
 
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
But on a long enough timeline we are all forgotten
 
 
 
 
In reply to @captainkalvis
doesn't quite have that same bite that "fuck" or any of the other 4-letter words does though
 
 
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