Amanda Goodcamera
@AmandaLafrenais | 5,866 followers
Everyone design an Old-Lady-Sona. Your old-lady-sona is NOT you, they are fictional.

My sona is Gertrude. She's been married several times and has many children but decided she's "over that life" and is always on the move in an RV to live on the lam. Crocheting tote bags.
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Total of 39 replies and 62 quotes found
I’m Harriet! I’m from New Jersey, and 180’ed from warning my 3 kids everyone who uses the Internet is a murderous pedophile to believing everything I read online completely. I wish the mass was still in Latin, and my eldest is in jail, but it’s not his fault, cuz nothing ever is.
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Foxy tried out for the CIA but it turns out they want you to have graduated high school. The nice young CIA guy proposed to her over breakfast the next day, though, which was sweet of him. She gives up smoking for Lent every year and her neighbors live in fear until Easter.
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Mine is Thea. She lives in a condo overlooking the lake. She travels often and sees her relatives between trips.
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@AmandaLafrenais i already have arthritis and knit regularly, gransona is a full time lifestyle
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I’m Deb. I’ve been submitting short stories to the New Yorker every month for 9 years. I’ve never been published but I still try. My Facebook profile pic is a toddler, which looks strange when I’m fighting with people in the “crockpot dinner ideas” group.
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Madge wears floral caftans that she changes seasonally. Smokes cigarettes of indefinable aromas—not tobacco, not weed—and has an assortment of antique holders for them. Drives a blue convertible, far too fast and often in the wrong lane. Will never swear in front of babies.
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@AmandaLafrenais My old ladysona is named Elaine. She's kind of tired and generally pleasant. She used to work for NASA as a records librarian, back in the day. She favors unsweetened iced tea, corgis, and walks with a cane she has no idea actually has a sword in it.
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@AmandaLafrenais Helena. She's perfectly happy to 'sit the grandkids and teach them to bake treats; but she's also teaching them how to pick locks, solve cyphers, swear in 4 different languages, and use a longbow.
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@AmandaLafrenais Can mine be Stanford Pines but a girl
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@AmandaLafrenais Oh gods. I worked for a senior women's social organization and I recognize ALL OF THESE PEOPLE. (It was a great job and old ladies are fucking amazing. But sometimes stressful.)
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🏳️‍🌈☆Kara☆🏳️‍🌈
@AmandaLafrenais oooh this is fun, mine would be Mavis - a retired sailor who moved up to Alaska after her doctor recommended Arizona for the dry heat for her bones. Has a better relationship with her grandkids than her own kids. Binges NCIS once a year.
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ꙮ 🐉 🐃 Bahu 🐃 🐉 ꙮ
@AmandaLafrenais Margaret. She took her deceased husband's old motorcycle, had the seat changed to a more comfortable one, and toodles to and fro visiting her grandkids. She cooks the best waffles in the world. Despite being 72, she's an organ donor. Asked why, she says "I'm an optimist."
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Niamh was a civil servant in the '60s, but is very vague on the specifics. She makes snide comments when Bond films are on TV. Her maisonette was burgled 5 years ago, but the burglar managed to stumble and break his neck on an area of open floor. She has a cat called Garbo.
  · TweetDeck · en
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@AmandaLafrenais Sylvia 'The Snake' Streisand is a retired Army sniper, who has a hoard of old memorabilia from her time in service. She loves talking to anyone that will listen about her time in service, but will get the thousand-yard stare if she hears a helicopter fly overhead.
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@AmandaLafrenais What if you already are an Old-Lady-Sona?
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Since in my real life I garden and raise chickens and drive a minivan and knit and crochet ...

My old-person-sona will have to be a steely eyed mechanic who restores old cars like 60s Mustangs. Her hair is short and spiky and she wears vests a lot.
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@AmandaLafrenais I'm Madame Matheny. My first name is a secret, but I'm a famous webcartoonist, have two cats, and I'm old enough to remember the time before the Trump dynasty when America had presidents. (This takes place in the future.)
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@AmandaLafrenais Sissy is a plant hoarder, she has lots of spider plants in her house. She never grows anything useful like herbs or vegetables, just ficuses and spider plants. She eats at Lubys on Sunday and if there's no green jello it throws off her entire week. Tips $5 to her fav busser.
  · TweetDeck · en
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The Least Interesting One To Look At
@AmandaLafrenais Her name is Loretta. She's from a small town just outside of Baton Rouge. She was married briefly in her 20s. No kids but has a beautiful garden. Shaved her hair herself to "feel the moon on her head" Has the best pecan pie in 3 counties.
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Diesel Cheese, the diesel engine who eats cheese
My old-lady-sona is Rita. Her house is decorated mainly in pink and green and she buys sherbet by the gallon. She gets approximately 5 catalogs a day and reads all of them, even the fishing gear catalogs. She puts cat food out for the raccoons at night.
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@AmandaLafrenais Elsbeth, she has two sons and lives in Tucson. She moved there from Wichita when she was about 40. She spends nights watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune and occasionally makes a trip to the liquor store. Elsbeth recently adopted a cat and named him Admiral Boots.
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@AmandaLafrenais Gwendolynn. Orignally from Florida, she worked bottling for coca-cola for 7 years before deciding to hit the road. She wound up in Reno where she settled down with her partner Sadie (runs a bar). They adopted kids, and now have 4 grandkids who they cherish. Makes quilts.
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@AmandaLafrenais Ingrid from Luleå swear she saw a skogsrå when she were a kid. No one believed her. She still lives in Luleå and spends her free time walking her dog in the forest and talking to people at the bus stop.
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@AmandaLafrenais Mine is Margaret-but-call-me-Maggie. She has a past full of mischief, mayhem, and men that her kids know nothing about. She has dropped tidbits to her oldest grandchildren but they don't believe her. She smiles and thinks "wait till they find the diaries after I'm gone".
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@AmandaLafrenais Alys lives in a vardo she built herself, with a cat so large she thinks its mama seduced a bobcat, and makes a modest living on the craft show/RenFaire circuit selling dolls and stuffies she buys at thrift stores & yardsales, then costumes in Rennie and fantasy garb. 😼
  · Twitter for iPad · en
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My name peaked in popularity during the 1940s and I have arthritis and enjoy British period pieces so I think I'm my own oldladysona
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@AmandaLafrenais Melina is now 85. The tattoo on her right arm, which she kept hidden for years is now boldly displayed and has a partner on tne left arm.
She lives in a sun-filled bungalow condo, where she spends her days reading, painting and tweeting. She's adored by her children.....
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@AmandaLafrenais Henrietta ("Retta") lives in a mountain cabin; she chops her own wood and kills / cleans her own dinner. Occasionally hires young boys from town to help her unload her truck and "stay for dinner". The grand kids won't visit anymore because grandma "doesn't believe in sissy kids."
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@AmandaLafrenais My Sona is Elizabeth "call me Lizzy" Never married, quit her corporate job at 50 as decades of fury at a misogynist system built to a peak. Now an ardent environmentalist, she shares her house with excessively sincere college students and is a devout 'free-gan'/dumpster diver.
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Mick lives on a ranch in North Dakota. The neighbor girl rents the land from her now, and there's always some young man around taking care of the stock. The handsew leather garments Mick makes sell well at county fairs. She winters in New York City with her college friends.
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@AmandaLafrenais Abigail is a half-deaf tiny old lady with two huge dogs that look intimidating from a distance, but are total soft sweethearts. She walks everywhere in town with them. Her wife goes to all the town social events. They bake things for their neighbors and plant too much zucchini.
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@AmandaLafrenais Hortense goes by Red. Her hair, leather jacket and Kawasaki Ninja are all tinted to match. She is a Tae Kwan Do instructor at the community college. She affectionately refers to her two grown children as "corporate lackey suckas." Her marriage ended with the younger's graduation.
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@AmandaLafrenais My sona is Charlotte. She was a WAC in WWII & had a love affair w/a British spy who was killed by the Nazis. After WWII, she got her degree & married a Univ of Mich economics prof & had 3 kids. Today, she lives in Ann Arbor, bets on UofM football & plays poker w/her grandkids.
  · Twitter for iPad · en
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@AmandaLafrenais Maureen was only married once, and pretty quickly decided she was never doing that again. Instead she opened a bar, which has recently become the depository for her various knitting projects. It's the only bar in town with a cocktail hour instead of a happy hour.
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Áurea Kochanowski ☀️🍍
@AmandaLafrenais Annaig. Endless braided hair, smells like sweet paprika, has lived through "the war". In her youth she seduced rich wives. In her age she is straightbacked, gambles a lot, and is well-known for sabotaging all the plumbing in Westminster as retaliation for Brexit.
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OH MY GOD MY FRIEND LH ALREADY HAS ONE her name is Olga.

Anyway, my old-lady-sona is Yekaterina; she lives in an apartment COVERED in cat pictures and watches TV literally all day. Her most expensive possession is a $3500 luxury gaming chair one of her grandsons bought her.
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how about old man?
Mine is Robert, he prefers Rob. He feeds the neighborhood stray cats and lets them into his house when it's cold. Has opinions on "big pharma". 100% believes everything he reads online. Probably a UFO truther.
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ꙮ 🐉 🐃 Bahu 🐃 🐉 ꙮ
Margaret. She took her deceased husband's old motorcycle, had the seat changed to a more comfortable one, and toodles to and fro visiting her grandkids. She cooks the best waffles in the world. Despite being 72, she's an organ donor. Asked why, she says "I'm an optimist."
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My name is Elizabeth. I live with two other spinsters & two cats, and tell fortunes for a living. I *am* an oldsona.
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They took away Eunice's driver's license but they couldn't take away her sled dogs. She had the nice neighbor boys strip her Chevy Caprice down to the chassis and now every church Sunday, before dawn, her huskies' screaming can be heard for miles.
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My Oldladysona is Theodora. She's "not the marrying kind" & knew nothing of current events until Trump was elected, which rekindled her sense of activism from a previous era. Now she's struggling to learn internet so she can participate in the resistance, possibly with knitting.
  · Twitter for iPad · en
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I would like you to all do this, please.
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@AmandaLafrenais Celeste became an international courier after the death of her husband, (48 years of mostly married bliss). She has two children, four grandchildren and a mouthy siamese named Hedda Hopper.
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@AmandaLafrenais Elenore built her off-grid cabin on the parcel of land that her dearly departed husband always wanted for his smithy. She rides her bicycle in to town three times a week to get her mail, library books, and to get local news at the coffee shop.
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🧚🏿‍♀️🧚🏽‍♀️ Azizas With Attitude 🧚🏽‍♂️🧚🏿‍♂️
@AmandaLafrenais My gransona Kishonne writes sci-fi manuscripts that won’t be discovered until after she dies. TWA. No kids or pets because she travels a lot. She still works in IT, says it keeps her brain sharp. Does sudoku to relax. Still repeats jokes she saw on tumblr and laughs really hard.
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My old-lady-sona is Margaret. She's a retired bus driver that lives in Kissimmee FL and believes most conspiracy theories, including that aliens are stealing her mail (its the shitty kids next door). Owns like 20 parakeets that just live uncaged in her home.
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Maeve has worked at the library long enough, she COULD retire, but relishes the opportunity to learn something new every day and keep her finger on the pulse of the community. She lives with her two cats, prefers gardening to crafts, and has excellent taste in scotch.
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Mine is Rebecca. No kids aside from the animal who flock to her backyard to be fed. Her house is covered in ivy and moss and the steps up to the door bend as you step on them. She hasn't cut her hair since marrying her late husband. The neighbourhood kids think she's a witch.
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Mine is Ida Mae. She lives with her girlfriend in a penthouse in LA. She had an award winning rum cake recipe that made her rich.
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My Old-Lady-Sona is a seventy year old lady named Celia, who knits and leaves scarves out for anyone who might need them. Has had many dogs and a number of spouses. (The number always changes depending who she talks to.) She travels by trains - is afraid of flying.
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Adelaide is a chainsmoking small-town grocery clerk who never plans to retire. She lives in a fifth wheel in a gully and feeds the expired food from work to her chickens and the local wildlife. No one can explain how her chickens are still alive, but she sells eggs on the side.
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Emmeline lives alone on the coast. She uses a walker nowadays, but a younger friend from church maintains her beautiful flower garden. She does oil paintings and gives them to charity. She's being courted by a gentleman who loves to cook. They watch Colbert.
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@AmandaLafrenais And great grands. She wears her silver locks in a loose ponytail.
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@AmandaLafrenais Wow my gransona is tame compared to you all! Boring now boring then 😣
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@AmandaLafrenais Your old lady sona sounds like my mom, only replace rv and tote bags with petsitting at various people's houses.
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@AmandaLafrenais Marna gave up her college engineering major to hitch west, seeking the satori her lost high-school-sweetheart told her about before he got carted off by the Rajneeshis and failed to lose his jealousy. She built an Aframe house on squatted land uphill of Boulder, earning money 1/
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@AmandaLafrenais Nena shows up with thickly frosted gluten-free cakes to parties she's not been invited to. She always says "yes, please" to an offered drink and knows more about beer than you. Her husband travels to golf, so she goes to trivia nights with her bellydance classmates.
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@AmandaLafrenais Henrietta thought she would never get married, married late, and then her husband died. She's bitter about it. She practices witchcraft actively and she loves the fact that neighborhood kids are afraid of her because she hates those little brats.
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Katy//Kathryn Kania (help i'm tired)
I'm Eleanor. I play bridge on the weekends but only when that nut-job Beth isn't there. She talks too much and is on her third husband. I make brownies for everyone but make hers with nuts because I know she hates them.
  · TweetDeck · en
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I'm currently living my old lady sona, if you must know
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Agnes loves a wee dram before bed, will likely die tripping over her cat and cannae go a day without "her stories".
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Star12. I'm a prof mercernary & hitwoman who assisted in 8 coups & 612 hits. I live in Pennsylvania & Tokyo. I spend my downtime reading world history books & biographies. I train female assassins & built a orphanage on my property. Im wanted by Interpol under 21 diff identities.
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shinydiscopaul wants the Nazis to go away
Her name is Edith, living in a retirement home where she loudly but lovingly harasses the staff, may or may not use her oxygen tank for arson, don't ever ask her where all that jewelry she owns came from, you'll never get the same story
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My old-lady-sona is Myrtle who drives old muscle cars, revving the engine and taunting young men into drag races on the streets of Los Angeles. She wins every time because she cheats her ass off.
  · TweetDeck · en
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Frances has a cabin in Iowa and eats a lot of foraged roots and plants. She built the cabin herself. She’s a crack shot, and makes art out of scavenged materials. She shows up to the caucus and town meetings.
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I fear my old-lady-sona is my Aunt June. But if I can't be her …

Kitty's been investigating "oddities" for years, assumed to be just a simple bakery owner. (Running a bakery isn't simple, and neither is puff pastry.) She has four cats, one husband, and just enough grandchildren
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[大覚] ☭The Liam Howlett Respecter ☭🌈🌸🍰☭
My sona is Lucille, she came out late in life and runs a b&b in Carmel with her wife of 28 years Charlene, they both keep a cannabis garden & are writing a cannabis baking book. Lucille's grandchildren come over all the time to eat & see their communist lesbian grandma
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Mine is named Herb. Herb has no patience for fools but loves kids. He volunteers at a summer camp where he grills hundreds of burgers every Friday for the kids and staff.
  · Twitter Lite · en
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Aileen is of "ambiguous ethnicity". She used to be an analyst for the NSA. She's fluent in 6 languages and invented 2 branches of statistics. She tells a lot of lies about her past, so that when she starts going senile and blurting out state secrets, nobody will believe her.
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😥💧Crybaby Barbarian🐗🗡
Mine is only known as Grandma Cane, she and her Airstream are at the fairgrounds expo hall every weekend, selling tacky knick knacks that change depending on the Show in question. Between expos she runs a flea market booth and smokes a shit ton of weed
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my old-lady-sona is beryl, she lives with a pack of equally old dogs who all have hand-knit sweaters. she likes to scare the local teens but has befriended some of them and hates it when they make a big deal out of her actually very thoughtful gifts
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Evelyn makes her living breeding quality Borzoi dogs. She names them all William Herbert with a number after it. She calls them Billy (number). She grows daffodils and tulips in spring. Dahlias in the fall. She is well loved by neighbor children for her homemade summer lemonade.
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Mary Augusta has two cats, a tiny dog, and is deeply committed to sea bathing. She’s always good for a cup of tea and a sit down and has taught half the neighborhood some rly inventive profanity.
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@AmandaLafrenais How about a sad one? Grand-sona hated every minute of her middle-age-sona life as a PTA mom of two perfect children and wife of a cold, demanding husband. She longed for solitude and silence, time to play video games, and the bed to herself. Finally old, finally alone, her days
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My old-lady-sona is Tallulah. She has been a stripper, an actress, an author, an agony aunt & a script doctor. She lives in Amsterdam with a clan of ginger cats and has a thriving online bookshop.
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Wilhelmina, a widow.
I have accumulated enough hair to style it into a beehive decorated with fake flowers and two knitting needles. I live in a Queen Victorian house with a wrought-iron gate and overgrown front lawn. I intentionally scare kids.
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I'm Zelda. What's that about a legend? Speak up, youngun!
*sprays you with a spritzer*
Back in my day, hills were uphill BOTH WAYS!
*gets in a 1967 Shelby Cobra*
*drives away at 30 mph*
  · Twitter Lite · en
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My Old-Lady-Sona is little and fairly wispy, but she has a tractor. Sometimes the young jerks try to make her live in the old folks' home. That's what the tractor is for. Also she makes great cookies.
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Deborah likes to go out to parks and serve lunch to strangers. She doesn’t see well anymore, and squints through thick glasses. She occasionally goes out onto the softball field and humiliates people with her awesome swing. Which is good, cause she doesn’t run well anymore.
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Shira Von Doom 2: Electric Doomaloo
Eurydice lives in a large house with like 20 cats, and several human friends. They have an extensive shared wardrobe of fancy clothes and hats, and often have tea parties in the garden dressed up.
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I’m QTing this so I can think about mine for a minute. This is fantastic.
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Sissy is a widow who works at the GNC in the mall even though she's set financially from her late husband's pension. She loves vanilla whey protein with blueberries in her morning meal shakes and can still deadlift 100 pounds.
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My Old-Lady-Sona is June - she lives in a nice house with three dogs; tips her cleaning lady really, really well; and has a tattoo from her days in a punk band. She sometimes wishes she should just go on and dye her hair green, but she never does. Next time, though. Green.
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This is an excellent thread
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My Old-Lady-Sona is the Dowager Duchess Gramercy of Wilkeshire.

An incredibly wealthy widow of the late duke, she has 3 kids, 8 grandkids and 2 great-grands. A competitive spades tourney player, she's an accomplished cellist & also paints. Her latest challenge: baking pastries.
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I’ll go with Eileen. In 3” heels she delivers meals on wheels to folks 20 years her junior, drives her girlfriends to get their hair done every friday morning, twists apples in half with her bare hands, and after her evil dog “Dainty” died, remarried at 85 to a younger man.
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Betty lives in a condo overlooking a golf course, and goes for a one mile walk every day. She collects trivets, and her hallway is lined with family photos. She calls each grandchild once a month, whether they like her or not
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Adelia enjoyed a lengthy career as a children's music star before she fell behind the times and accidentally released a song that was innocent on the surface but was actually a popular teen euphemism for something horrifying and inappropriate.
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My Sona - Cheryl. Never had kids, went to law school instead, is a retired judge who travels often with her wife and tips well. She's full of stories and advice for anybody who asks.
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Shirley is older than she should be. She has too many cats for a lady her age to take care of on her own but has lots of visitors. Makes stretch taffy. The only entertainment in her house is a tape with 2 episodes of Giligan's Island on it. She tells the same story 5 times.
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Her name is Claire and she writes smut under a pseudonym. She cultivates rare types of chili peppers and volunteers at a big cat rescue with her ex-wife. Their relationship is so much better now that they don't live in the same house. She has 27 bowling championship trophies.
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Esme took up tango after Dr said “Flamenco? With your knees?” She’s a nightmare to lead, but flatters her dance partners outrageously. Gives the impression of having dressed entirely in scarves. Whether that’s tea in her teacup or not is none of YOUR business, kiddo.
  · Twitter Lite · en
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My Old-Lady-Sona is Gwenwyn.

A warrior who's fought many battles and been on many adventures and she's not done. Her health isn't what it was so she depends on potions to maintain her strength and abilities. She has a shoulder dragon companion named Stein who chews on coins.
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