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Analysed 41,822 tweets, tweets from the last 223 weeks.
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Last 50 tweets from @BootstrapCook
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Please don't think I was judging you in ANY way, more my anxiety from having been through the ringer on these sites and abusive past relationships. Absolutely no ill intent meant whatsoever, only ever been a supporter of yours and sincerely hope it works out for you
Replying to @GetJohnsonOut
It’s all cool, I’m v cautious too and appreciate the concern. X
 
In reply to @JoshBronto
Where is she now? I wanna put money in her commissary
Replying to @snapbackBrad_ @JoshBronto and 1 otherfalse
NGL this tweet ended me 💀💀💀
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
I would consider sharing even anonymised snippets of private conversations from dates I haven't even met yet a wee bit red 🚩 when you have a 500k following
 
Only other Tinder/Plenty of Fish victims see the massive red flag in this rather than the romance 😭
Replying to @GetJohnsonOut
I’m pretty good with red flags, having been in a slew of variously abusive relationships over the years, and I’m not getting any here. I’d like to think I can judge a 200-message conversation better than a stranger can judge a potted snapshot of 1% of it.
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
I bet he wears tweed jackets and smells off black coffee. Basing that entirely on my English teacher as a child rather than any particular justifiable reason.
In which case stick a fork in me coz I am DONE 😍😍😍
 
Replying to @cucumber202
I think we both walked ourselves rather deliciously into that one
 
Maths teacher?
Replying to @groovy_chi
English. Hnnnghhhhh.
 
Earlier in the day when talking about our jobs, I said to The Teacher that I basically write for whoever will have me for 60p a word… They added up all the words in my sent messages and asked where to send the remittance paperwork for the £1292.40 they owe me. Oh god. Buy a hat.
Replying to @BootstrapCook
(I of course responded with ‘You can settle that bill with dinner and I’ll write the rest off’)
 
Replying to @cucumber202
I was like ‘I’m not here to do feelings, I’m not here to do feelings, I’m not here to oh no OH NO’
 
Earlier in the day when talking about our jobs, I said to The Teacher that I basically write for whoever will have me for 60p a word… They added up all the words in my sent messages and asked where to send the remittance paperwork for the £1292.40 they owe me. Oh god. Buy a hat.
 
I love the absolutely massive understatement that is "interests include cooking"
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Sounds like you are lining up the mother of all jokes
Replying to @JonesTheSteam72
My love life tends to go that way, yes
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Amazing you would need to resort to this… you’re already a national treasure fgs
Replying to @NigelBali
There’s no resorting about it, I’m having a blast
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
If they can't handle the flex...
Replying to @ARealityStorm
As Ned Flanders once said, if you can’t handle me at my diddliest, you don’t deserve me at my doodliest!
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Date night poker, your only allowed 5 I’m afraid.
Replying to @database_dev
I reckon the beauty therapist and the masseuse could be the same person…
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Ceramicists are desirable? Get in! Thirty three years of making teapots finally pays off. 🙂
Replying to @Rossienante
Creative, thoughtful, artistic, good with your hands and able to make something useful? Hell yes
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Hope the four of you are very happy.
Replying to @Philmsh79
I think they’ll all really like each other 😂
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Aw...am sorry. I think you're fabulous!
Replying to @swinfan69
Was a proper shock, to be honest, and no real reason given, but their loss.
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
@BootstrapCook am confused...thought you had a significant other! Good luck with the dating.
Replying to @swinfan69
Nah they split up with me out of the blue and I’m done moping around feeling shit about it tbh
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Good woman.....although I think I recall you ridiculing some bloke on here having 'MSc' in their Bio. So, to paraphrase David Brent, maybe add to your dating profile that you like geezers who are as, or less intelligent, than yourself. Good luck finding Mr Right anyway...
Why are you so threatened by smart women, Duffer?
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
No lawyers? 😮 Wise move 👍🏻
Replying to @gavinjohnadams
Actually there IS a lawyer in the pipeline; never let it be said I’m not mercenary about my needs!
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
You forgot to add that you have two doctorates + all your other accomplishments on your profile Jack. You were very quick to boast same when you were looking to come out as somehow more intelligent than me during our last Twitter tete-a-tete. The geezers will love a brainy bird.
Oh I tend to pack all the awards in my tote bag and put them on the table on a first date; really sorts the men from the boys
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
When you say 'a date', how do you plan to keep all three engaged in the general chit-chat? Sounds like a lot of work.
Replying to @matthew0connor
I thought I’d just Dragons Den it, give em all 15 minutes to pitch and decide who to invest in at the end of it 🤣
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Jeez, please continue to look after yourself. Road is long.
Replying to @GeorgiLoveland
Aye but I’m done with the crying in bed bit, I’m not looking for a Big Love, just some adventures x
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Wouldn’t you like a chef 👩‍🍳
Replying to @SandraMarshal12
Ooh no, I do the feeding!
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Also, which app? 🤣
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Get someone who does the gardening and the cleaning and you're sorted 😅😅
Replying to @marmiteboy
Well there are seven days in the week, so I could add that one to the list 😅
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Us doctors can be quite boring - late from work, wierd hours then too tired to do much other than vegetate 🤣
Sounds exactly like my schedule tbh, match made in heaven
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Our vet is very nice and wears scrubs. How about an animal doctor?
I mean I’m pretty feral, the crossover would be seamless
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Good luck...someone on here needs to find love on tinder.. I.hope it's you ( I just got a man who wanted to be locked in a cupboard..)
Replying to @JoJoTrainers
Best place for them, I reckon
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Don't rush in to anything. Give your heart time to heal. ❤
Replying to @Helenkeenan121
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, they say 🤣
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
I thought that was all the one person for a minute....
Replying to @MarkDennehy
The dream man doesn’t exist, but I’m happy to mash a few together to make one 😊
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Jesus Christ how have you done that so quickly? 😫😫😫
Replying to @ChrissyKinsella
Afternoon in a hammock, obligatory cute puppy pic, and an old bikini photo 🤣
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
An advantage of being like Ronseal allows you to say "never darken my door again" when it doesn't work out
One of the benefits of being extremely honest is being able to say exactly that when required
 
Okay so I have a date lined up with an English teacher, a doctor, and a ceramicist: I could totally embrace polyamory and be kept in copy edits, gentle lectures about my arthritis, and side plates for a while here.
Replying to @BootstrapCook
Just need a beauty therapist, a dog Walker and a sports masseuse for the full slate of fundamental needs, I reckon.
 
Okay so I have a date lined up with an English teacher, a doctor, and a ceramicist: I could totally embrace polyamory and be kept in copy edits, gentle lectures about my arthritis, and side plates for a while here.
 
Tinder is going well 😂
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Good luck and best wishes. Doesn’t work for me. I can’t get on with the lack of interaction body language etc through typing messages etc.
Replying to @DonLeShoes
Oh I jump on calls quite quickly, can’t be doing with endless texting back and forth. One thing sobriety has given me is the ability to make phone calls to perfect strangers these days!
 
In reply to @Lisa2672
I did do it once Lisa & I got seriously burnt. I got used & cast aside. It was 12 years ago & my confidence has never really recovered. Took 7 years to go on another date. I have just resolved myself to being single for ever. Not everyone meets their soul mate. It's just life.
Replying to @marmiteboy @Lisa2672 and 2 others
Ah Mark, knowing you as a friend I think it’s a real shame that your confidence has been knocked so badly. You’re a real catch - funny, smart, easy on the old eyes, kind, excellent taste in music and politics. But being happy with yourself is also a gift, so treasure it. 🥰
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Honestly, you're sort of a unicorn in my eyes. Also, get on Bumble. Tinder is terrible. People are way nicer on Bumble!
Replying to @inkfuzz
I have learned today that ‘unicorn’ means something verrrrrry different on dating apps 😉
 
Quote cause I can’t reply, but always wondered how famous folk manage this. God knows it’s a hellscape for the rest of us, especially Tinder which I lasted 20 minutes on, but to try authentically connect with people when you have any form of visibility must be hard af
Replying to @diannedelahunty
It’s…hard work. But the starfuckers identify themselves quite quickly IMHO. Still marvelling that Adele did it tbh
 
I was sure you were looking for a girl in scrubs @BootstrapCook 🤦‍♀️.
Bon chance!
Replying to @WhoMakeTheTea
I’m open minded, all genders seem to break my heart with equal brutality so I don’t discriminate!
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Replying to @HarryMoWolves
I’m a treasure, just need someone who won’t bloody discard it like I’m a piece of trash when they get bored of their shiny new toy…
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
Really hoping the right person for you will come along soon!!
Replying to @APillar123
I’m the right person for me; if anyone else wants to come along for the adventure then so be it, but I’m genuinely very happy bumbling along with the boy and the dog and the cat to be honest xx
 
But…you don’t highlight the huge online feet repository.
Replying to @Craylands76
You gotta keep some cookies in the cookie jar my friend
 
In reply to @BootstrapCook
I’m at a stage with Tinder where I loath it so much that I’m determined not to let it beat me. So I keep swiping out of pure hatred alone. Totally healthy. Good luck!! 😂
Replying to @LauraFMcConnell
I keep swiping on folks in scrubs; when the ex told me I need to prioritise seeing a doctor I don’t think they realised just how literal I am 🤣
 
God help me, but I’m doing the thing. 🔥
 
In reply to @peter_jwilson
You must have missed their aborted rebrand as Jack's, complete with UJ livery everywhere,as they positioned to become the state monopoly supermarket if Brexit *really* went badly.
Replying to @wfpickering @peter_jwilson and 1 otherfalse
I must admit I took ~particular~ umbrage at that!
 
Jack Monroe Retweeted ·  
Psychology says, choosing not to argue with people who are committed to misunderstanding you is self care.
 
In reply to @chainborne
Can’t comment, they blocked me a couple of years back and I don’t know why. (I had one interaction with them, it’s still in search) twitter.com/tarasis/status…
Replying to @tarasis @chainborne
Unblocked! No idea why that happened, sorry!
 
 
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