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Total Followers - Last Year
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Analysed 200 tweets, tweets from the last 106 weeks.
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Last 50 tweets from @pattonoswalt
Aaaaaand there's a certain Smoking Baby played by a beloved "weird" accordion player and I dare ya to be stupid and, uh, I mean... Look, it's @alyankovic. Okay? #SeeHappy
I play Pile Of Twigs and @pattonoswalt plays a unicorn named Happy on tonight’s episode of “Happy”. 🦄Watch and enjoy 10pm on @SYFY if you’re a dark fucked up person. #SeeHappy @happysyfy
The poster for my shows in Cincinnati and Columbus this weekend is available for sale at ⁦@brianmethe⁩’s Etsy Store! All $$$$$$$$ goes to the artist! I love this guy’s work!…
Official Patton Oswalt Concert Poster Ohio 2019
More $$$$ in the Hegar Swear Jar!
celery soda will do that to ya gonna go donate to @mjhegar ... love to u @pattonoswalt
Yes, dummy. Are you kidding? Everyone hates them.
Does #HollywoodHegar 🎬 support @Rosie bashing the First Family?
What a gorgeous piece of art by @patrickafinch. He captured the two things I love most about you -- those big, round, beautiful blue eyes.
Just got a DM from Roy Moore -- he's on board 100%!!!
In new fundraising email, @JohnCornyn campaign continues to seek to make @pattonoswalt — and his jokes — a liability for @mjhegar: “If you think child pornography is funny, Hegar is your candidate.” #txsen
Uh-oh, Pop-Pop had a celery soda before his mall walk and he's got a burr in his saddle! @Rosie, you better 23 skidoo outta here before he give ya the ol' pepper!
First, it was @PattonOswalt, now it’s @Rosie. There’s a profane trend among #HollywoodHegar’s biggest backers, and they’re all taking aim at @RealDonaldTrump and our conservative values.
Pre-sale starts....NOW! Go to and grab yer tickets! Code “PATTON”

See you all hot & sweaty in July!
Thank YOU, Emery.
Thanks for doing everything you could, @pattonoswalt. You’re a good guy.
HA HA HA! Thanks, little brother. I needed that.
his name was Robert Squirrelson
Thank you @emeryemeryii for zipping by and taking him for a proper burial. Emery rescues squirrels and he was in the neighborhood. #RIPsquirrel
He’s gone. I sat with him and watched his eyes go dead. He’s gone. The crow can have him now. Just didn’t want his last moments of life he had being eaten, I guess. But he’s gone now. Ugh I’m such a soft bastard.
He died. The squirrel died. One last big shudder and now he’s not breathing. His left leg’s all mangled and bloody I think he got hit by a car.
FUCK he’s thrashing around I think he’s dying. All the emergency vets are closed I’m afraid to move him FUCK I don’t wanna leave him ‘cuz this crow is lurking
HELP ME OUT SOMEONE. This little guy is barely alive, on Laurelvale Drive in Studio City. Just chased away a crow that was trying to kill it. All the animal control services are closed. Anyone got a # I can call? 7:16pm
Patton Oswalt Retweeted ·  
I love being drawn

(artist: Jennifer Gheduzzi)
Oh my God. HOW did you find an offensive Tweet in my Twitter feed? Next, go into the @McDonalds Twitter feed and see if they mention "hamburgers," Woodward.
It's not "targeted harassment." What @TeamCornyn is doing is called "unwitting promotion" and I hope they never stop.
Isn’t this targeted harassment of Patton? Hope ppl flag this
All due respect, we’re not exactly “trading jabs.” I’m playing DOOM in “GOD” mode and they’re a Barrel.
Cornyn campaign, Patton Oswalt trade jabs over comedian's support for challenger
Keep going, @TeamCornyn!!!!!
Intern: This really isn’t playing well, sir. Cornyn: keep searching his tweets, whipper-snapper. Intern: But the Internet is laughing at you. Patton is not your opponent. Cornyn: But look at all the likes! Intern: Sir, those are comments... you’re being ratioed.
Patton Oswalt Retweeted ·  
Gotta say, out of everything in the world that could have happened today, Senator @JohnCornyn randomly going after @pattonoswalt with some old tweets was not even in the top gazillion.
July tour dates! Click on TOMORROW at 10am PST/1pm EST for pre-sale tickets! Discount code for ALL shows is “PATTON” All-new material! Working on my new @netflix special! It’ll be f***ing great!
Whoa! An Anthony Weiner joke! I love this journey through time you're taking us on, @TeamCornyn!
Looks like someone skipped a few days of vetting classes.
Damn @JohnCornyn... you can’t even trend when you’re being dunked on. What a sparrowfart you are.
Vagina. Scrotum.

Do you also bleep out "appendix" and "kidney"?
Hollywood Hegar & Vulgar Patton. The dynamic duo:
If you're wondering why I'm being gummed by @TeamCornyn, it's because I'm in this ad for the extraordinary @mjhegar. @JohnCornyn is scared shitless -- he won't even debate her -- so this is the straw he's grasping at. Good luck, Pop-Pop!
Unseating an entrenched incumbent senator is going to be tough, but I’ve faced worse odds in my life. Saddle up, Texas. I’m in. Join me at
Patton Oswalt Retweeted ·  
absolutely losing my mind imagining one of cornyn’s 23 y/o interns being forced to search through patton’s tweets for naughty words then censoring them with emojis so their boss’ fanbase of aging segregationists don’t make a mess in their adult diapers
Patton Oswalt Retweeted ·  
a sitting supreme court justice criticized senator @JohnCornyn not comedian @pattonoswalt for encouraging violent acts from people who disagree with federal rulings
Patton Oswalt Retweeted ·  
you know at least @pattonoswalt didn't say he could sympathize with people who shoot and kill federal judges, like @JohnCornyn, a us senator did.
Guys, don't be some gross, potty-mouthed Twitter fiend like me! Learn from @JohnCornyn, with clean, curse-free Tweets like this one!
"Dildo" isn't a word that needs asterisks, Incel Ira. For example, "The dil** that runs @TeamCornyn must hate his life" can be written "The dildo that runs @TeamCornyn must hate his life." #lifehack
But wait… there’s more! Another reminder that Hollywood Hegar embraces this celebrity:
Hey @TeamCornyn — I know you got your Depends in a soggy bunch over the cursing in my Tweets. Sorry I can’t Tweet out good, clean rib-ticklers like your boss:
I just noticed: you *****’d the word “penis.” Oh my god you Pepperidge Farm dipshit. Go tell your constituents about the time you babysat Chester A. Arthur, drink your Ensure, and sit down.
Hollywood Hegar supporter and video guest star, Patton Oswalt, has tweeted some offensive comments over the years, reply A or B to let us know which one is more offensive to you:
(@curtisisbooger voice): We’ve got ratio! WE’VE GOT RATIO!
Guys, if you’re offended by my “sailor talk” like the incel running the @TeamCornyn account is, put your outrage nickels in the swear jar below!
You've got to provide the link for the swear jar:…
.@JohnCornyn's campaign is trying to manufacture some bad faith outrage over Mae West jokes @pattonoswalt tweeted in an attempt to attack @mjhegar. Meanwhile last week, Cornyn used his personal account to attack a sexual assault survivor. Texas, which is more offensive to you?
Make sure to vote in Pop-Pop’s “Potty Patton” Poll! The winner gets a bag of Brach’s Sourballs and a Nehi bottle cap!
Hollywood Hegar supporter and video guest star, Patton Oswalt, has tweeted some offensive comments over the years, reply A or B to let us know which one is more offensive to you:
Oh my God. Lemme put a nickel in the swear jar and then you can tell me about your crush on Theda Bara, you pointless fossil.
Hollywood Hegar supporter and video guest star, Patton Oswalt, has tweeted some offensive comments over the years, reply A or B to let us know which one is more offensive to you:
SO proud to be in this re-introduction of the extraordinary @mjhegar! Go to

SHE’S IN. So are we!
Unseating an entrenched incumbent senator is going to be tough, but I’ve faced worse odds in my life. Saddle up, Texas. I’m in. Join me at
Patton Oswalt Retweeted ·  
This Friday, @PattonOswalt (@NBCAPBio, @HappySYFY) will perform live at @TheFamilyArena. We had the chance to talk with the actor/comedian ahead of his stop in St. Louis on 4/26.

Tickets via @MetroTix 🎟️:
Patton Oswalt Retweeted ·  
Here's my interview with @PattonOswalt. If you're in St. Louis, see him @TheFamilyArena this Friday!
Patton Oswalt Retweeted ·  
Buttigeig: I'm a basic white guy candidate BUT GAY.

Biden: I was your favorite President's best friend.

O'Rourke: I was in a band.

Liz Warren: Student loan forgiveness, free public college, $50 billion set aside for HBCUs.

Voters: Hard choice, which white guy should we pick?
This is a HUGE mistake.
Ask @Chris_Meloni all your burning questions WEDNESDAY at 9/8c before the all-new episode at 10/9c. Well all your questions about HAPPY! at least.
Patton Oswalt Retweeted ·  
Imagine suffering and thinking "this is only worth it if others suffer."
Patton Oswalt Retweeted ·  
I agree! We must begin impeachment proceedings and investigate if the president committed impeachable offenses.
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