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Analysed 11,035 tweets, tweets from the last 231 weeks.
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Last 50 tweets from @TheWeirdWorld
If you're cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.
 
The number of people older than you never increase.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
I wonder how many animals were sat on before they realized horses could handle it.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
“it get better” bro it been gradually getting worse for years
 
Your clothes only get caught on door handles when you're in a bad mood.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
They say “time heals”. No it doesn’t, I’m still pissed.
 
A pregnant woman has 8 limbs and is, therefore, an arachnid.
 
Society could be much better if people had babies because they actually wanted to raise one and help it grow, instead of having babies because it's "what people do".
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
There is some self-interest behind every friendship that we have.
 
Saying you aren’t photogenic is kinda like saying you’re better looking than all available evidence.
 
Cuddling seems way more intimate than having sex.
 
High school bands show school spirit by going to football games and supporting the team but football players don't show school spirit by attending band concerts and supporting the band members.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
can??? someone??? hug??? me??? and??? tell??? me??? that??? i'm??? good??? enough???
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
You cannot study for a test of character; it’s always a pop quiz.
 
The brain not only named itself, but it also recognized that it named itself and was surprised when it realized that.
 
If you took a million guys named Miles and lined them up, they'd be a million Miles long.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
i passed the hardest moment alone while everyone thought i was fine
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
It seems like work and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
 
Your parents told you to not talk to strangers, yet here we are.
 
At least one person thought you were cute when you were walking down the street at some point in your life.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
“u look tired” thanks i stayed up all night obsessing over things i have no control over
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
The shortest words - “yes” and “no” - are the two words that require the most thought.
 
Bad handwriting is actually a security feature.
 
Muscle memory's kinda weird, you're completely unable to like, juggle or ride a bike unless you continue to fail at doing it for several hours after which you can do it effortlessly for the rest of your life.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
Everyone has that one friend who always gives relationship advice, but is single.
 
Semen is literally gender fluid.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
I hate when a good song is attached to a bad memory
 
'Noted' is the corporate version of 'Whatever'.
 
Giving a forehead kiss feels more serious in a relationship than an actual kiss.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
In the morning there is a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:10.
 
Your anxiety comes from the past or future, neither of which exists.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
Learning from my mistakes is good, but learning from other’s mistakes is much better.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
do you say “im tired” when youre sad or are you normal
 
When you’re criticized for being short, they’re really just saying the worst thing about you is that there isn’t more of you.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
Yawning is our body's way of indicating “low battery”.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
“you’re so strong” thanks i literally have no other fucking choice
 
Ironically having and raising a child is the one subject that isn't taught to us but would greatly benefit us as a species to learn how to do it properly.
 
The quietest people in the room usually have a more objective view of what's going on, because they are actively watching and listening rather than trying to jam in their 2 cents.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
‘did it hurt when…’ yeah actually it did i’m a very overly emotional person
 
It’s really weird how “I was born in 2000” makes you sound 17 but “I was born in 1999” makes you sound 35.
 
Your first-grade best friend probably thinks about you too.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
DO?? YOU?? EVER?? JUST?? WANNA?? SCREAM?? SO?? LOUD?? WHEN?? YOU?? TRY?? TO?? THINK?? ABOUT?? YOUR?? FUTURE??
 
Before the internet we were dumber but much happier.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
“ur so quiet” yes when i talk nobody listens
 
“A nut for a jar of tuna” is the same backward.
 
Wanting to read is great. Needing to read is terrible.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
anxiety: they hate you

me: who hates me

anxiety: they
 
What if plants are farming us. Giving us oxygen and until we eventually die, turning us to mush so that they can consume us.
 
Childhood is the shortest part of our life but has the longest life in our memories.
 
Shower Thoughts Retweeted ·  
“ur so polite” thank i was raised in constant fear of upsetting people
 
 
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