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Analysed 4,558 tweets, tweets from the last 568 weeks.
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Last 50 tweets from @ConanOBrien
I didn't want to use the word "Orwellian" in a tweet until I was confident that I could use it properly, so here goes: Orwellian would be a cool name for a horse.
 
Conan O'Brien Retweeted ·  
Welcome to the Team Coco Podcasts family, @NicoleByer! On today's episode of "Why Won't You Date Me?" @ConanOBrien tries to help Nicole figure out why she's still single. Listen and subscribe on @ApplePodcasts. apple.co/wwydm
 
“This impeachment gives me one last chance to salvage my reputation!” shouts Rudy Giuliani, as he ladles baked beans into his briefcase.
 
Samantha won’t return to Sex and the City because the character is now a QAnon Congresswoman from Florida.
 
What's the best vaccine? Pfizer, Moderna or Dave's Hot Vaccines?
 
I loved reminiscing with Fred Armisen about all those years I spent bullying him in the hallways of 30 Rock. Hear our conversation @ apple.co/TeamCoco
 
Thank you Arnold -- this is the most powerful and uniquely personal statement I've heard from ANYONE on where we are right now as a country.
My message to my fellow Americans and friends around the world following this week's attack on the Capitol. pic.twitter.com/blOy35LWJ5
 
Now what am I supposed to do with my 89 million Parler followers?
 
After the horrible attack on our nation's Capitol yesterday, I wanted to talk to someone with a unique perspective on the Republican Party and what it has become. My conversation with Ron Reagan is available now. earwolf.com/episode/ron-re…
Ron Reagan, episode #107.5 of Conan OBrien Needs a Friend on Earwolf
earwolf.com
 
Happy two-week birthday, Jesus! (It never hurts to kiss a little deity ass).
 
Excited for Fashion Week 2021, I can’t wait to see what this year’s cardboard cutouts will be wearing.
 
Now Trump is asking Georgia to find a 7th season of Schitt's Creek.
 
Spoke with my friend @ohsnapjbsmoove about his legendary SNL pitches, immaculate wardrobe, and previous life as a fire extinguisher salesman. Listen @ apple.co/TeamCoco
 
It's almost like Mitch McConnell behaves the way he thinks a guy with a face like that should behave.
 
My New Year’s Resolution is to drink more, put on weight and use more reverse psychology.
 
Don’t want to be a downer but so far, this year feels exactly like last year.
 
I haven’t spent a New Year’s Eve crying all alone since last year.
 
2021 is going to be like the math professor who took over for Ted Kaczynski.
 
By popular demand, I will not be releasing the album I wrote in quarantine.
 
Hey Pixar— Don’t know if you’ve paid attention for the past year, but I don’t need another reason to cry.
 
Thank you to @MatthewRhys for pretending to be my friend for one hour and no pay. Listen @ apple.co/TeamCoco
 
Gaydar, but for tracking ships at sea and objects in the air.
 
If we could see the world through the eyes of a child, we’d see so many more doorknobs.
 
The Christmas tree, severed from its roots and constrained by heavy lights, serves as a cruel warning to my houseplants.
 
What a terrible time to find out Santa is an anti-vaxxer.
 
At this rate, John Wayne Gacy will be pardoned by January 3rd.
 
For anyone feeling nostalgic for office holiday parties, Yankee Candle makes a great “Bottom-Shelf Bourbon and Hotboxed Lyft Car” scented candle.
 
I'd love to see Blackbeard's face as he's told the term "pirate" will one day mainly refer to A-holes who steal parcels from our porches.
 
I’m puzzled why President Trump hasn’t called the new strain of Covid “The British Virus.”
 
Chatted with the breathtakingly funny Amy Sedaris about playing mean and ugly, tricking children, and her wig collection. Listen now @ apple.co/TeamCoco
 
I hate Christmas shopping. I never know which vaccine to get my wife.
 
I wanted to start a celebrity feud after Dave Grohl and I put out versions of "Run Rudolph Run" at the same time, but then I saw his and I voided my bowels. I'm not good at celebrity feuds. youtu.be/kE8XfvC3-N0 amzn.to/2LEIqmD
 
Still haven't worked up the nerve to tell my in-laws that I won't be traveling from my bedroom to my living room to talk to them on Zoom this Christmas.
 
Is anyone else still thinking of that 25 person orgy in Brussels? Oh good, me neither.
 
My New Year’s resolution for 2021 is “Spend less time with my family.”
 
I might have to remind Pfizer I’ve been a preferred customer since 2002.
 
Kaley Cuoco was more excited to talk to @sonamov than to me. Hear the devastation in my voice @ apple.co/TeamCoco
 
“Now is the time to act!”
—Something my acting teacher never told me
 
What’s sadder, the end of “Titanic” or my son’s face when I ask him to explain Bitcoin again?
 
Conan O'Brien Retweeted ·  
Your favorite #CluelessGamer dropped by #GGNT to review "Cyberpunk 2077." Watch Conan's review @ youtu.be/XPdXUqTOjs8
 
Every time the sun goes down at 4:30PM, I feel like it's mad at us.
 
I've wasted so much of my staff's time playing this song at rehearsal. Now I get to waste your time too. youtu.be/aoyOrxk3iTo
 
In India, an elephant was rescued after falling into a well. Afterwards, the elephant said, “I wish I could forget the whole thing.”
 
Thrilled to make @JohnCleese's lifelong dream of doing a podcast with Conan O'Brien come true. Listen @ apple.co/TeamCoco
 
Could he receive the Never-Gave-Us-A-Moment’s-Peace Prize?
 
Let’s not forget all the good stuff that happened in 2020.
You first.
 
Biden is looking for a new Attorney General. So, we may not be done with Giuliani after all.
 
When will my parents pardon me?
 
Walking outside wearing all this and a couple visiting from Moscow crossed the street and said, "Hi Conan!" HOW??? WHAT'S THE GIVEAWAY?? #ImpressedByRussians
 
I got some members of The Basic Cable Band together to perform at #ProjectKidsCare. Check out our semi-magic and help some truly underserved kids. youtu.be/kE8XfvC3-N0
 
 
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