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Analysed 4,489 tweets, tweets from the last 555 weeks.
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Last 50 tweets from @ConanOBrien
Sorry to Rashida Jones for the complete engineering meltdown on our end. Your pony is in the mail. apple.co/TeamCoco
 
What they tell you - "You can't run away from your problems."
What I have found - You can outrun 8% of them.
 
My father has always cast a long shadow in my life. Mostly because he’s thin and only comes out at sunset.
 
This shade is as warranted as an umbrella on a hot summer day at the beach. And @ConanOBrien, I'm here for it.
Replying to @DanRather
Props from the legendary @DanRather are as soothing as silk drawers on a Texas cattle drive.
 
I can’t remember the last time I was this shocked by an NBC programming decision.
 
In reply to @ConanOBrien
Michiganders: If you like democracy but you don't vote, you're not playing euchre with a full deck. Register by 10/19 @ whenweallvote.org pic.twitter.com/PWKGA6LTuJ
Replying to @ConanOBrien
Listen up PA. Register to vote by 10/19 or I'll come to Erie and tell terrible jokes in person. whenweallvote.org
 
If you like my conversation with @HillaryClinton, you’ll love our travelogue series "Biker Buddies" – coming soon to Quibi. apple.co/TeamCoco
 
In reply to @ConanOBrien
ATTN. People who live in Wisconsin: Not registering to vote would be like trading up in the first round of the NFL draft to take a QB who's still years away from being a viable starter. Register by 10/14 @ whenweallvote.org pic.twitter.com/6N1RpHkZrw
Replying to @ConanOBrien
Michiganders: If you like democracy but you don't vote, you're not playing euchre with a full deck. Register by 10/19 @ whenweallvote.org
 
Damn — @WillieNelson came on the podcast and he was absolutely fantastic. Even I will listen to this episode, and I don't like me. apple.co/TeamCoco
 
I love the fall: The crisp air, the colorful trees, the ever-present sense of looming annihilation.
 
With so much chaos happening right now, I worry today many Americans have forgotten to celebrate Mario Lopez's birthday.
 
There's nothing like playing a COVID-safe version of "Mystery Train" with my friend @JimmyVMusic. Much thanks to the warriors of @TruetoneMusic!
 
And here I was thinking President's mandatory game of Duck, duck, goose in the Oval Office couldn't get any more irresponsible.
 
In reply to @ConanOBrien
The last time North Carolina citizens didn't vote, we got the Winston-Salem Building. Don't let it happen again. Register to vote by 10/9 @ whenweallvote.org pic.twitter.com/706bGIj79Z
Replying to @ConanOBrien
ATTN. People who live in Wisconsin: Not registering to vote would be like trading up in the first round of the NFL draft to take a QB who's still years away from being a viable starter. Register by 10/14 @ whenweallvote.org
 
Which doctor has to tell him he caught the virus from hugging a flag?
 
Looks like Mike Pence has locked up the white suburban mortician vote.
 
I’m sorry, but how can dogs play at a time like this?
 
My favorite game to play these days is guessing whether a tweet about current events will be irrelevant 4 words into writing it or just 3.
 
Good luck getting paid, Walter Reed.
 
In reply to @ConanOBrien
Arizona! It's time to put down those crystals and register to vote. Learn more @ whenweallvote.org pic.twitter.com/EhQ37gPs4D
Replying to @ConanOBrien
The last time North Carolina citizens didn't vote, we got the Winston-Salem Building. Don't let it happen again. Register to vote by 10/9 @ whenweallvote.org
 
Learn why @iamcolinquinn thinks we need an alcoholic president @ apple.co/TeamCoco
 
Like everyone else, the coronavirus will regret going to work in that White House.
 
“Someday we’ll look back on 2020 and laugh.”
--A Guy I Just Punched
 
In reply to @ConanOBrien
Hey Florida! The voter registration deadline for your state is coming up on 10/5. Register and learn more now @ whenweallvote.org pic.twitter.com/b439L4S8br
Replying to @ConanOBrien
Arizona! It's time to put down those crystals and register to vote. Learn more @ whenweallvote.org
 
 
I'm so honored that @MichelleObama came back to my podcast for a special new episode. Come for the laughs but stay for the shocking revelation of who I want to win the presidential election! apple.co/TeamCoco
 
I'm sure he's going to lose all that fanatical support now that his supporters know he did his taxes wrong.
 
I recorded a series of PSAs about the swing states. I hope they make you laugh, and I hope they encourage you to hit the polls on November 3rd. First up, Florida...
Replying to @ConanOBrien
Hey Florida! The voter registration deadline for your state is coming up on 10/5. Register and learn more now @ whenweallvote.org
 
I recorded a series of PSAs about the swing states. I hope they make you laugh, and I hope they encourage you to hit the polls on November 3rd. First up, Florida...
 
.@roryscovel has no business doing comedy, but I think he's brave for trying. Hear our conversation @ apple.co/TeamCoco
 
I locked my keys in my car. Four months ago.
 
I just asked my wife why I walked into the living room, but she didn't even know why she was there, so we watched TV for six hours.
 
Why do we only eat paste when we're kids? I'm going to find out this afternoon.
 
The way things are going, I don't know if we're going to make it to Christmas. So we decided to celebrate a little early. youtu.be/pihAEdW-QDY
 
Any other California residents wear “earthquake diapers” to bed?
 
.@MichelleObama and I zoombombed a group of @WhenWeAllVote volunteers. They were blown away to see Mrs. Obama and thought I was Keith Urban's sister. youtu.be/SqW2afIqOwk
 
I'm #VoteReady. Are you? Register to vote at HeadCount.org or text VOTER to 40649. #NationalVoterRegistrationDay
 
Scientists say that pretty soon, robots will be smarter than us. In fact, they’ve started building a robot that wears a mask.
 
I yelled “f*** you” at @KeithUrban way more than I thought I would. Listen @ apple.co/TeamCoco
 
The person who told me Ruth Bader Ginsburg had passed away was my daughter, Neve. I was terribly sad, but also filled with gratitude that my daughter could see first hand how much intelligent, brave women can change the world.
 
A baby scorpion doesn’t look so scary from this ceiling fan I’m clinging to.
 
“How are you doing?” has never felt like such an attack.
 
As my hair grows, so do my powers...
 
At this rate, the rate at which rates are increasing will increase at unprecedented rates.
 
I just wrote Congress, urging them to investigate my belief that the U.S. is tampering with the 2020 election.
 
Don't let this photo fool you, @SeanHayes and I had a very serious, joke-free conversation on my podcast. Listen @ apple.co/TeamCoco
 
I'm hearing conflicting stories in the news so just to clarify - does Putin have to vote in-person or can he still use a mail-in ballot?
 
In reply to @funnyblackdude
@FunnyBlackDude Please think of me if you ever make “Funny-ish”
 
Thanks to the heatwave, you can now get a picture on Hollywood Boulevard with “tank top Darth Vader” and “thong Elmo.”
 
Dear Fans: I promise never to use explosives or anything flammable when I reveal my gender to you.
 
 
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