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Total Followers - Last Year
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Analysed 3,845 tweets, tweets from the last 477 weeks.
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Last 50 tweets from @ConanOBrien
A detail lost in the story of Jesus: how frequently, and early in the day he began turning water into wine.
I’m surprised no one mentioned the Special Counsel Report’s margins are full of Mueller’s attempts to draw the Van Halen logo.
For anyone still having trouble saying my name, here's a helpful tip: It's pronounced "Cone-Edge-Edge"
I worry that the release of The Mueller Report is going to overshadow the fact that it’s Melissa Joan Hart’s birthday. #HappyBirthdayMelissaJoanHart
Why can’t Beyonce drop the Mueller report?
Watch the first nine minutes of #ConanAustralia and tune in to @TBSNetwork tonight @ 10/9c to watch my latest travel special.
Conan Learns Australian Slang
Cheers to my Australian and American crews. #ConanAustralia would not have been possible without these fine mates. Episode airs TONIGHT at 10pm on @TBSNetwork
Am I the only one still doing Elizabeth Holmes' voice in the shower?
I'm just chillin', waiting to be asked to play Prince Harry in Season 16 of The Crown.
.@pattonoswalt stopped by to talk about comedy, cereal, and badly written porn spam.
Just to see the bumper stickers, I’m rooting for the ticket of Buttigieg/Hickenlooper in 2020.
Am I the only one who thinks we should respect the Black Hole’s privacy?
I think I saw The Rise of Skywalker two years ago on Pornhub?
Oh well. Checks and balances had a good run.
Free and Available Tinder Bio: “Got Shingles and Ready to Mingles”
Million dollar idea: print the Democratic primary ballot on CVS receipts.
.@nicolebyer is the opposite of me in every way and I love her for it.
Apologies to my college girlfriend. At the time, I really thought a reverse mortgage was a sex position.
Webster's defines "cliche" as "starting a speech with 'Webster's defines'"
Thirty years later, still the weirdest fortune cookie I ever got.
Not to brag, but I think I'd be a model prisoner.
As anyone who looks at Zillow knows, the time to buy was in 1890.
I know they live in different comic book universes, but I'd love to see a fight between Batman and my neighbor with the loud stereo.
Our historic experiment in Democracy is in great peril. April Fools!!! (Pause) Hello? Anyone?
Talked with the delightful Ben Stiller (@RedHourBen) about growing up in show business, playing Michael Cohen on SNL, and Jeff Goldblum’s sexual energy.
A growing fear about Beto O'Rourke is that he is actually just a very tall, wheat IPA.
Just realized I’ve been binge-watching my children’s lives since they were born.
Weird. I’ve been hitting this wasp’s nest with a wiffle ball bat for about five minutes and noth- ok I gotta go
Great Britain is like a dad who asks for a divorce, then refuses to move out of the house and kind of hopes you’ll forget he’s living in the basement.
Look, I’m not perfect but at least my obituary won’t say, “and in 2019, he defunded the Special Olympics.”
Cardi B wants to trademark her catchphrase “Okurr” and I think she should. Last year I made a fortune with my phrase “What’s the haps, Paps?”
I’ll bet Kellyanne and George Conway have pretty disturbing makeup sex.
Fans are always asking me how they can watch the "old stuff," now I finally have an answer that is legal. #Conan25
Ray Romano is a hilarious comedian, a kind soul, and a rare neurotic Italian.
Mueller's report may be finished, but mine is out next week. It's on 'Johnny Tremain' and it was due in 1974.
On an island vacation with my family. If I get attacked by a shark, don't blame him - the chum Speedo was my idea.
In the new millennial-inspired Bible, the Last Supper is now a vegan brunch.
If you’re an Instagram Influencer who doesn’t have a picture of yourself in a sea of wildflowers, can I even trust your dry shampoo recommendations? SMH.
Keep the change you wish to see in the world.
This morning my kitten was riding around the house on my dog’s back like he was on a horse. I’d post a video of it but I made it up.
Got some wires crossed and now I have Temple vs. Pete Buttigieg in my NCAA bracket.
I had the great privilege of speaking to @MichelleObama about her amazing journey and new book, “Becoming.” #IAmBecoming
Every St. Patrick’s Day, I demand a recount from 23 and Me.
Thrilled and honored to be a part of @MichelleObama’s #IAmBecoming event tonight in Milwaukee.
Most pictures of Trump look like they were taken during a 3AM trip to the bathroom.
I told my therapist about my constant need to be liked and he said we can discuss it on the jet ski I bought him.
Talked with some extremely talented young whippersnappers named Thomas Middleditch and Ben Schwartz.
If “words can’t describe” what you saw, you could, like, shut up.
Bowshanks, Stumblestone, Pinchbottom, Feverfew, Pebblenut...Minor Shakespeare characters or craft beers?
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