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Analysed 24,494 tweets, tweets from the last 93 weeks.
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Last 50 tweets from @palvaro
It’s Turkey time!

This year my Mom, my daughters, my aunt, and I made my Nana’s stuffing with the Turkey. It’s my favorite!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
Dinner is served! pic.twitter.com/ubG295nyKe
 
Replying to @palvaro @batman_vc
I decided that snitching on snitching bitches is ok
 
 
If America is a racist country, Arbery’s killers would not have been found guilty by a nearly all-white jury in Georgia. Most Americans (of all colors) believe in Dr. MLK’s adage that as God’s children we should be judged by the content of our character, not the color of our skin
Replying to @TulsiGabbard
What are you trying to articulate you inscrutable ghoul
 
 
In reply to @palvaro
Heck yeah. The only way I've gotten close to that perfection is letting those slices sit with salt overnight in layers, and it's still not at the level you fried those to.
Replying to @devgerred
I salted them for a little bit over an hour. I find that when you salt them they weep so much that they require supervision
 
 
 
In reply to @skamille
It’s eggplant but everything is going so swimmingly that I agree it looks like latkes
Replying to @palvaro @skamille
I’m gonna be so shitfaced by the time I actually eat it I wonder what’s the point. But that’s just Thanksgiving
 
“Professor Hellerstein! What brings you to the cultural center of our Third World hellhole?” <— Some words that I actually uttered last night
 
In reply to @palvaro
hazarding a guess, are you doing eggplant parm? that fry is the holy grail for that.
 
 
In reply to @palvaro
happy chanukah?
Replying to @skamille
It’s eggplant but everything is going so swimmingly that I agree it looks like latkes
 
What’s everybody getting into today
 
In reply to @SSJIndy
I agree with this fucking moron. Let’s follow Indiana‘s example. We Californians really wish that this were Indiana
Replying to @palvaro @SSJIndy and 2 others
Hey San Franciscans, I have an idea. Let’s all listen to this dipshit with an American flag in his bio
 
In reply to @recallchesa
Level the playing field. End ridiculous rules that employees can’t stop shoplifters and end restrictive gun laws
Replying to @SSJIndy @recallchesa and 1 otherfalse
I agree with this fucking moron. Let’s follow Indiana‘s example. We Californians really wish that this were Indiana
 
Hey hey! Ho ho! Chesa needs to be held accountable, stampede over & let him know!! The event is TODAY! CC: @SusanDReynolds @AnnieGaus @Jason @maryjungsf @garrytan @JacquiBerlinn @SteveAdams80182 @DavidSacks (I’m still doing homework 📚)
Replying to @JennyGShao @SusanDReynolds and 7 others
Maybe you can do your part by sneaking around the city and taking photos of people who are down on their luck without their consent, you brave hero you
 
 
In reply to @palvaro
are you tweeting with voice to text?
 
In reply to @palvaro
how long is the recovery?
Replying to @johnregehr
8 to 12 weeks and then more PT, but I’m surprised that they already have me doing some great exercises
 
This move is called “hold the peach” (those gross stains are just iodine stains) pic.twitter.com/rWK4d4KdQ5
Replying to @palvaro
This may not seem like a big deal but I am absolutely over the moon about being able to hold the peach. It hurts a lot
 
In reply to @skamille
it was almost unbearably stereotypically post-war sci-fi
Replying to @skamille
Well, and asimov was in the right place at the right time to write one or two ok books among many dozens
 
Finally watching the last episode of this season of Foundation and it is just so totally wack what is even happening
Replying to @skamille
I don’t know about you, but I never could get through the book despite trying a lot when I was a little dork
 
This move is called “hold the peach” (those gross stains are just iodine stains)
 
I had a shitty day today and flaked on a bunch of people who were counting on me
 
In reply to @deech
my inner jeeves is advising me solve this problem by endorsing him for aws and yaml
Replying to @deech
I had no idea that there were other people out there who had inner jeeveses
 
so our cars got robbed this morning because Los Angeles is a crime riddled 3rd world shithole of a city but tremendous appreciation and gratitude to the hardworking officers at the @LAPDWestLA who not only arrested the motherfucker but they got all of our stolen goods back
 
In reply to @palvaro
Circa 2004 or so. I climbed out as far along that point as I could and then I swam completely around it. It took like 45 minutes but the water was as warm as a bathtub. What an amazing day
Replying to @palvaro
That same day, I saw a 6 foot long water monitor come out of the ocean and walk up onto the beach, and I saw a cobra and a cat fighting
 
In reply to @palvaro
This has got to be the north shore of Ko pha ngan (which my iPhone really really really wanted to render as “Copenhagen”)
Replying to @palvaro
Circa 2004 or so. I climbed out as far along that point as I could and then I swam completely around it. It took like 45 minutes but the water was as warm as a bathtub. What an amazing day
 
Replying to @palvaro
This has got to be the north shore of Ko pha ngan (which my iPhone really really really wanted to render as “Copenhagen”)
 
 
In reply to @MaryToddUSA
William films the police to search for misconduct. He has filed hundreds of frivolous complaints about anything from window tints to not wearing masks. twitter.com/ACatWithNews/s… 5/
Replying to @MaryToddUSA
Just reporting the news huh bootlicker
 
In reply to @palvaro
By bronze, by gold, in oceangreen of shadow. Bloom. Old Bloom.
 
 
 
In reply to @palvaro
Get a bottle-opener keychain 😬
Replying to @_Felipe
All I need is to get my wedding ring back on my left hand and everything will be fine. But I haven’t been wearing it because my fingers have been puffy
 
In reply to @Dev14e
I was at the store, and the checkout lady said, what happened to your hand? And I was like oh I hurt myself carving a pumpkin but it’s better now waving around my right hand, and she’s like, no! That one! and points to my bloody as hell left hand
 
In reply to @palvaro
Please take care :((
Replying to @Dev14e
I was at the store, and the checkout lady said, what happened to your hand? And I was like oh I hurt myself carving a pumpkin but it’s better now waving around my right hand, and she’s like, no! That one! and points to my bloody as hell left hand
 
If I don’t stop trying open bottles with my left hand I’m going to end up with no hands at all pic.twitter.com/pvKppnt7HO
Replying to @palvaro
you know what else is damn hard to open with one hand?
 
If I don’t stop trying open bottles with my left hand I’m going to end up with no hands at all
 
 
In reply to @palvaro
Spot the narcissist (the one thing he’s following is his own company) pic.twitter.com/dCGbM9wGvZ
Replying to @bascule
Just imagine the all hands meetings
 
 
In reply to @danielbittman
Why would I do this, you ask? Why the fuck not. No one else was using the machine.
Replying to @danielbittman
Serious Bluto Blutarsky energy here
 
In reply to @ArianneM12
You would think that if nobody expected them to turn a profit anyway, they wouldn’t keep getting caught stealing! But I’m not a business person, I don’t know
Replying to @palvaro @ArianneM12
If I only I had the right stuff to be a philosopher-CEO of Twitter. then I would spend all day screaming with my fingers in my ears
 
In reply to @palvaro
A bunch of companies that run on funny money and aren’t expected to make profit. Good times
Replying to @ArianneM12
You would think that if nobody expected them to turn a profit anyway, they wouldn’t keep getting caught stealing! But I’m not a business person, I don’t know
 
 
In reply to @palvaro
Imagine thinking you have the moral high ground in this situation
Replying to @bascule
Is that what’s going on? I saw very little evidence of brain waves of any kind coming out of that Tweed
 
Replying to @palvaro
If you ever feel like an imposter, even for a moment, remember that this fucking bozo runs a company
 
 
 
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