@jason_koebler | 22,398 followers
NEW: @jack and @realDonaldTrump are holding a closed-door meeting to talk about "the health of the public conversation on Twitter," according to internal emails obtained by me and @josephfcox motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/…

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Twitter's single greatest source of abusive content sits down with the CEO to chat about the health of the website.
I literally can't think of any worse people to have a closed-door meeting about the health of the public conversation on Twitter than the guy who regularly made threats of nuclear war on Twitter and the guy who let him
In reply to @jason_koebler
So by @jack’s own standards, that meeting should be publically documented for transparency? pic.twitter.com/wY4ASPOPzS
Here's a legitimately healthy topic for public conversation: That Jack is a complete shit-for-brains. twitter.com/jason_koebler/…
Enabled, meet enabler.
.@TheOnion is absolutely killing it these days.
Jesus fucking hell christ on a fucking stick
In reply to @jason_koebler
The Health of the Public Conversation: A Conversation in Private, by Jack Dorsey.
In reply to @jason_koebler
If you work at Twitter Signal me: 347-513-3688
Two trash men enter, two trash men leave
In reply to @jason_koebler
Jack. Please. You don’t have to delete his account. Just log him out and change the password
Are you fucking kidding me?!
We are living in a nightmare. The dumbest nightmare of all time.
In reply to @jason_koebler
When you have to discuss the "health of the public conversation on Twitter" and can only do it in private, something is seriously wrong with one of the participants.
In reply to @jason_koebler
When you have to discuss the "health of the public conversation on Twitter" and can only do it in private, something is seriously wrong with one of the participants.
“I know I almost started nuclear war using your platform but if you think about it I’m really the victim here”

“Absolutely Mr. President, we will do better”
White House confirms this meeting happened.
Experiment: we don't let either of them out for a few years and see if society improves.
lol this is gonna end with Jack making everyone on twitter auto-follow Trump or something
Reminder: Dorsey was *not* invited to Trump's 2016 sit-down with big tech CEOs.
Nope. Not the way. I don’t believe in side conversations. This just confirms what we all knew about jack.
I know conservatives think there's some Twitter bias against them. But between the fasting, the ice baths, the Bitcoin maximalism, the going on Joe Rogan podcasts, and turning to Trump for a discussion about about "the health of the public conversation on Twitter..." I dunno
In reply to @jason_koebler
"I can shadowban them if you want, sir"
Yeah this seems like a great way to fix Twitter, ask its most irrational users
In reply to @jason_koebler
Sponsored by The Onion.
In reply to @jason_koebler
tell him all bot accounts will be turned off, so he'd best be prepared.
In reply to @jason_koebler
"It's nice to meet you Jack Twitter!"
Trump should demand the end of Twitter’s persecution of @MujahedKobbe.
When people told Jack to deal with the fascist problem on Twitter, they didn't mean *literally make a deal with them*.
Jack will let Mujahed come back to Twitter, and in return, President Trump will send him to Gitmo
In reply to @jason_koebler
I think Jack is proving to be the sleeper Valley Bro. His relative quiet has obscured the level of his brodidity.
Every person & member of the press should be questioning:

What’s this meeting all about? Who called for the meeting? Who else is in attendance of the meeting? And will we be told what was discussed?

Twitter is run by a White Nationalist. :(
Trump literally threatens people on this platform all the fucking time. He uses twitter to target harassment. If you want twitter to be safer, kick Trump the fuck off.
In reply to @jason_koebler
The publishers of the NY Times and Washington Post have both spoken with POUTS about the "health of the public conversation". Nothing changed. POUTS is impervious to common sense and decency, and refuses to give up his bullying, because it makes his little manhood seem bigger.
In other news, I will be having a closed door conversation to talk about the health of carbs with an enormous platter of linguine
I think the song lyric that is most apt in this moment is:

"Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
'Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go"
Like having a conversation with cancer about how to live healthy
this is the sort of thing you definitely agree to if you've been arguing in good faith that you'd ban the other person in the meeting from twitter if not for the fact that he was a public figure
In reply to @jason_koebler
What a clever way to improve Twitter. Have a meeting with the most irrational man in the country on "healthy conversation".
A fun prank would be someone barricading the closed door and never letting them out. Just for a laugh.
Because Trump is the first person you think of when it comes to healthy twitter conversations.
Really is time to stop talking about Twitter as a neutral/standard place where authors and other creative talent need to be in order to build careers in the publishing industry
In reply to @jason_koebler
They are each only allowed to speak in 280 characters or less
and so it has come to pass
In reply to @jason_koebler
trump: “how can we associate twitter accounts with people so that we can go after them with a government agency if they... don’t say the right things?” jack: “actually, I think that’s better done on facebook.” trump: “ok, can you set that up for me?” @infinite_scream
Aces. Solutions inbound at last.
Donald Trump is in a closed meeting with @jack

Yeah, we all should be freaking out.
Um, excuse me but what in the actual FUCK? Is this why my Progressive friends are getting suspended?
Can we agree on another social platform already twitter.com/jason_koebler/…
[closed-door meeting]
JACK: [nods, sips chamomile tea]
J: [doing handstands]
J: [practicing tai chi]
J: [walking on hot coals] namaste
We should all like donate a dollar to some sort of "buy Jack out" campaign or something
Well-played 2019 Writer’s Room
If it’s anything like Trump’s idea of healthcare, this place is sick and will be denied coverage.
In reply to @jason_koebler
I really would LOVE to see @realDonaldTrump BANNED from Twitter for his obnoxious, bullying behavior. It's a violation of the rules so he really needs to be banned.
ok so what’s actually the deal with jack
This is like the Black Plague and the Red Death getting together to discuss the health of humanity.
In reply to @jason_koebler
Hopefully talking about suspending Trump from twitter.
BREAKING: the man who owns a trash bin and the man who starts fires in that trash bin are meeting to talk about the state of the trash bin.
In reply to @jason_koebler
Here comes censorship. All the comfort I currently derive from meeting like-minded patriots will soon be gone. Trump wants to silence his articulate critics.
In reply to @jason_koebler
Someone stick a wire under his beanie.
If y'all want to migrate to some sort of Alt Twitter, let me know. I am down.
You have got to be fucking kidding me. If Jack wasn’t complicit before, he sure as fuck is now.
Well, it was nice knowing you guys...
In reply to @jason_koebler
I am getting really tired of reporting death threats against random Democrats in the comment threads under his tweets.
In reply to @jason_koebler
nevet trust a man who hides behind facial hair.
This will end well. *check notes* oh, sorry, no.
...Its HEALTH?? The phrase "Well, it was coughing up blood last night..." seems unfortunately apt.
These are the two worst possible people to discuss "the health of the public conversation on Twitter". Trump is barely literate, can't hold a coherent thought & doesn't engage with others here, & Jack is away with the fairies and totally disengaged from the Twitter trenches.
Hey @jack ! Did you explain that BOTS are not Real followers????? 😂😂
In reply to @jason_koebler
30 minutes of conversation with Trump? Given his penchant for repeating, how many unique words will he use in that "conversation"? 20? 30? 10? "It's very unfair, Jack. It's unfair. Very. Jack. Very unfair. ...."
jack! hell yeah man. this is going to fix everything for you. youll be loved again, for sure,
Fuck this goddamn website
In reply to @jason_koebler
it's called press intimidation
the jokes write themselves
In reply to @jason_koebler
where's a jpg of spiderman pointing at spiderman when you need one
On one hand, @jack has already shown us what matters to him. On the other, I kind of love the idea of him being trapped in a room with Trump whining that his follower numbers aren't higher.
The only way the optics of this don't come out looking like shit is if Trump is banned from twitter as soon as the meeting is over.
In reply to @jason_koebler
Want to improve the health of conversation on Twitter? Ban @potus
So...the CEO of Twitter has a meeting with DONALD TRUMP and...doesn't tweet about it. good lord. When will someone who runs one of our vaunted tech companies stand up to this clown?
In reply to @jason_koebler
I guess somebody has to represent the interests of Nazis, white supremacists and incels, huh?
In reply to @jason_koebler
I'm laughing so hard I gave myself an asthma attack. this is just so bad.
What an utter and complete waste of time. Just sprained my eyes rolling them.
Could we encase whatever room they're meeting in in cement?
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