@jason_koebler | 18,365 followers
NEW: @jack and @realDonaldTrump are holding a closed-door meeting to talk about "the health of the public conversation on Twitter," according to internal emails obtained by me and @josephfcox motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/…

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Twitter's single greatest source of abusive content sits down with the CEO to chat about the health of the website.
I literally can't think of any worse people to have a closed-door meeting about the health of the public conversation on Twitter than the guy who regularly made threats of nuclear war on Twitter and the guy who let him
In reply to @jason_koebler
So by @jack’s own standards, that meeting should be publically documented for transparency? pic.twitter.com/wY4ASPOPzS
Here's a legitimately healthy topic for public conversation: That Jack is a complete shit-for-brains. twitter.com/jason_koebler/…
Enabled, meet enabler.
.@TheOnion is absolutely killing it these days.
Jesus fucking hell christ on a fucking stick
“There don’t appear to be enough chuds on this platform,” says the president
In reply to @jason_koebler
The Health of the Public Conversation: A Conversation in Private, by Jack Dorsey.
In reply to @jason_koebler
If you work at Twitter Signal me: 347-513-3688
In reply to @jason_koebler
Because why wouldn’t the president himself step in and meddle in private industry? It’s not like he’s a “republican” who favors “minimal government involvement in industry”
Serious question - how much money would you pay for a ticket to observe a meeting between these two?
Two trash men enter, two trash men leave
In reply to @jason_koebler
Jack. Please. You don’t have to delete his account. Just log him out and change the password
Are you fucking kidding me?!
In reply to @jason_koebler
When you have to discuss the "health of the public conversation on Twitter" and can only do it in private, something is seriously wrong with one of the participants.
In reply to @jason_koebler
When you have to discuss the "health of the public conversation on Twitter" and can only do it in private, something is seriously wrong with one of the participants.
We are living in a nightmare. The dumbest nightmare of all time.
“I know I almost started nuclear war using your platform but if you think about it I’m really the victim here”

“Absolutely Mr. President, we will do better”
Experiment: we don't let either of them out for a few years and see if society improves.
White House confirms this meeting happened.
lol this is gonna end with Jack making everyone on twitter auto-follow Trump or something
Nope. Not the way. I don’t believe in side conversations. This just confirms what we all knew about jack.
Reminder: Dorsey was *not* invited to Trump's 2016 sit-down with big tech CEOs.
I know conservatives think there's some Twitter bias against them. But between the fasting, the ice baths, the Bitcoin maximalism, the going on Joe Rogan podcasts, and turning to Trump for a discussion about about "the health of the public conversation on Twitter..." I dunno
In reply to @jason_koebler
"I can shadowban them if you want, sir"
Yeah this seems like a great way to fix Twitter, ask its most irrational users
In reply to @jason_koebler
"It's nice to meet you Jack Twitter!"
In reply to @jason_koebler
Sponsored by The Onion.
Trump should demand the end of Twitter’s persecution of @MujahedKobbe.
In reply to @jason_koebler
tell him all bot accounts will be turned off, so he'd best be prepared.
When people told Jack to deal with the fascist problem on Twitter, they didn't mean *literally make a deal with them*.
Jack will let Mujahed come back to Twitter, and in return, President Trump will send him to Gitmo
In reply to @jason_koebler
I think Jack is proving to be the sleeper Valley Bro. His relative quiet has obscured the level of his brodidity.
Every person & member of the press should be questioning:

What’s this meeting all about? Who called for the meeting? Who else is in attendance of the meeting? And will we be told what was discussed?

If it’s anything like Trump’s idea of healthcare, this place is sick and will be denied coverage.
Twitter is run by a White Nationalist. :(
In reply to @jason_koebler
The publishers of the NY Times and Washington Post have both spoken with POUTS about the "health of the public conversation". Nothing changed. POUTS is impervious to common sense and decency, and refuses to give up his bullying, because it makes his little manhood seem bigger.
Trump literally threatens people on this platform all the fucking time. He uses twitter to target harassment. If you want twitter to be safer, kick Trump the fuck off.
In other news, I will be having a closed door conversation to talk about the health of carbs with an enormous platter of linguine
I think the song lyric that is most apt in this moment is:

"Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
'Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go"
Like having a conversation with cancer about how to live healthy
In reply to @jason_koebler
What a clever way to improve Twitter. Have a meeting with the most irrational man in the country on "healthy conversation".
A fun prank would be someone barricading the closed door and never letting them out. Just for a laugh.
this is the sort of thing you definitely agree to if you've been arguing in good faith that you'd ban the other person in the meeting from twitter if not for the fact that he was a public figure
Because Trump is the first person you think of when it comes to healthy twitter conversations.
Um, excuse me but what in the actual FUCK? Is this why my Progressive friends are getting suspended?
In reply to @jason_koebler
They are each only allowed to speak in 280 characters or less
Really is time to stop talking about Twitter as a neutral/standard place where authors and other creative talent need to be in order to build careers in the publishing industry
Donald Trump is in a closed meeting with @jack

Yeah, we all should be freaking out.
and so it has come to pass
Aces. Solutions inbound at last.
In reply to @jason_koebler
trump: “how can we associate twitter accounts with people so that we can go after them with a government agency if they... don’t say the right things?” jack: “actually, I think that’s better done on facebook.” trump: “ok, can you set that up for me?” @infinite_scream
Can we agree on another social platform already twitter.com/jason_koebler/…
This is like the Black Plague and the Red Death getting together to discuss the health of humanity.
[closed-door meeting]
JACK: [nods, sips chamomile tea]
J: [doing handstands]
J: [practicing tai chi]
J: [walking on hot coals] namaste
We should all like donate a dollar to some sort of "buy Jack out" campaign or something
Well-played 2019 Writer’s Room
In reply to @jason_koebler
I really would LOVE to see @realDonaldTrump BANNED from Twitter for his obnoxious, bullying behavior. It's a violation of the rules so he really needs to be banned.
ok so what’s actually the deal with jack
In reply to @jason_koebler
Here comes censorship. All the comfort I currently derive from meeting like-minded patriots will soon be gone. Trump wants to silence his articulate critics.
In reply to @jason_koebler
Someone stick a wire under his beanie.
In reply to @jason_koebler
Hopefully talking about suspending Trump from twitter.
This will end well. *check notes* oh, sorry, no.
BREAKING: the man who owns a trash bin and the man who starts fires in that trash bin are meeting to talk about the state of the trash bin.
If y'all want to migrate to some sort of Alt Twitter, let me know. I am down.
In reply to @jason_koebler
nevet trust a man who hides behind facial hair.
Well, it was nice knowing you guys...
In reply to @jason_koebler
I am getting really tired of reporting death threats against random Democrats in the comment threads under his tweets.
...Its HEALTH?? The phrase "Well, it was coughing up blood last night..." seems unfortunately apt.
These are the two worst possible people to discuss "the health of the public conversation on Twitter". Trump is barely literate, can't hold a coherent thought & doesn't engage with others here, & Jack is away with the fairies and totally disengaged from the Twitter trenches.
Hey @jack ! Did you explain that BOTS are not Real followers????? 😂😂
In reply to @jason_koebler
30 minutes of conversation with Trump? Given his penchant for repeating, how many unique words will he use in that "conversation"? 20? 30? 10? "It's very unfair, Jack. It's unfair. Very. Jack. Very unfair. ...."
In reply to @jason_koebler
Donald makes it unhealthy. He should be banned from Twitter.
In reply to @jason_koebler
it's called press intimidation
jack! hell yeah man. this is going to fix everything for you. youll be loved again, for sure,
Fuck this goddamn website
In reply to @jason_koebler
Want to improve the health of conversation on Twitter? Ban @potus
the jokes write themselves
In reply to @jason_koebler
where's a jpg of spiderman pointing at spiderman when you need one
In reply to @jason_koebler
I guess somebody has to represent the interests of Nazis, white supremacists and incels, huh?
In reply to @jason_koebler
I'm laughing so hard I gave myself an asthma attack. this is just so bad.
What an utter and complete waste of time. Just sprained my eyes rolling them.
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