@TheDreamGhoul | 27,441 followers
High school teachers: You are to write about the use of the color yellow in The Great Gatsby. If it's less than 10 pages I will CALL THE COPS.

College profs: Write about an entire religion. I don't even care which one but if you make me read more than 3 pages I will end my shit.

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Total of 321 replies and 1,150 quotes found
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
Grad school professors: I think we have an exam next week but idk. Anyone wanna go to pub trivia tonight?
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
Bro. For English 102 when I first started college I was VERY confused because my professor said 鈥渨rite a paper on what鈥檚 bugging you. Cite your sources. It鈥檚 due next class period. 3 pages is fine. Class dismissed鈥 WHAT?
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
two more things before i go dunk my head in a snowbank because i've been studying for 2 days: 1. i'm in grad school. all my degrees are in the healthcare and STEM realms 2. the motherfucking car in the great gatsby is YELLOW and if you tell me it's GREEN you can GO TO JAIL pic.twitter.com/BVXpdpjFMJ
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
i have a lot of smug as hell english majors in my mentions acting like i went to clown college. i'll be the first to defend the importance of the humanities but please stop dunking on me for getting degrees in bio/chem and nursing because you're hurting my feelings.
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
The only paper longer than 10 pages I ever wrote in college was for my medieval sex and religion class and it was on the relationship between Gwen and Lancelot and Arthur. I had to read text in old english rip me.
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
Different priorities/education goals. In high school the test is "can you write, like, sentences and shit ? It matters zero what you say, but I need to know you can say things and hold a thought in your head for more than 5 seconds".
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
Me in high school: spends an entire semester working on a 10-page paper only to get an 80% on it. Me in college: writes a 6-page paper two hours before it鈥檚 due and gets a 100%
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
Law school profs: 33 pg memo due tomorrow, give it to my student assistant to read, and never email me pls, I'm in the Bahamas rn.
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
My final essay for my 18th Century European Art class is to write about what paintings from this period I would love to have in my home, where I would place them and why. 馃槀 no more than two pages. This is a 4000 level class. I am blessed
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
As a teacher, I have Zero interest reading 10 pages written by most teenagers.
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
My mother went back to college after retiring and turned in a 60k word analysis of Alfred Hitchcock for her first essay for film studies. I'm amazed the professor let her live.
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
Lol had to submit a proposal and this was exactly my experience; turned it in and basically got 鈥渕ake this less hard for me to read in like 10 minutes, B+鈥
 
Can we talk about the grad school prof who told us "I don't want to be here. Give me a reason to end class early." That was the best quarter.
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
Had papers like this all through college, then real world writing broadcast news, and the goal was how fast and short of report can I fit a 5hour long city council meeting
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
I had a grad prof assign a 10 pg paper worth 50% of entire grade and then tell the whole class: 鈥淩emember, I don鈥檛 know that you don鈥檛 know what you鈥檙e talking about. 馃う馃徎鈥嶁檪锔忦煒
 
RAPIDLY becoming That Professor

鈥淗ow long do you want it to be? How should we format citations? Single spaced or double spaced? Font? Are you SURE this topic is okay?鈥

鈥淎round 1500 words, in-text citations, I literally do not care about formatting as long as I can read it鈥
 
In HS i wrote a paper on the lord of the flies about how it doesn't really create a compelling case for man being evil and my english teacher literally told me to write another one because i didn't get the point of the book
 
High school had me thinking professors were gonna be so demanding and it鈥檚 the complete opposite lol
 
馃槀馃槀馃槀
I once got a 12 page review for the film, Moana, from a delightful overachiever. She was a wonderful student, but shit...
 
i read the first part in ms. buro鈥檚 voice lol wow traumatized
 
COLLEGE STUDENT, SWEATING: l-look, I know you said 500 words, b-but it's... oh god... 497 words... I-I'm so s-sorry...
ME: thank fuck, three fewer words to read
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
I stayed up all night finishing a college paper once only to have the teacher read the title page, ask me 2 questions, then write grade. 馃く
 
People who say this shit be studying be education and gender studies majors
 
For one of my English classes in college I made a bridge out of Popsicle sticks and glued pictures of the Avengers on it and my prof thought it was the best thing ever. Def not as serious as HS was.

This is me constructing it at 4am for an 8am class: pic.twitter.com/uHqBLtbnRf
 
 
 
Being a wordy bitch really did benefit me in high school. I鈥檇 walk in with 15 page on that Gatsby essay. Then I get to college and they鈥檙e like 鈥渄on鈥檛 go over 4 pages鈥 and I PANICKED what is CONCISION
 
What college do you Mfs go to so i can transfer to over there
 
I鈥檓 about to make some people mad... these kind of posts are only made by people who went to state colleges
 
Once I had a professor ask me to unpack how racial bias directly is tied to poverty rates and said, word for word, 鈥渋f you write more than 3 pages double spaced then I will end myself because that is just too much to have to grade鈥 lmao
 
brooo deadass, my professor once told us that if it鈥檚 more than 3 pages they wouldn鈥檛 even read it 馃拃馃槶
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
Yeah, but if you turn something in to the high school teacher you get an A. The college professor actually does read those pages.
 
Ah the great high school lie "if you think this is hard just wait until you get to college"
 
This reminds me of when Dr. Margolies introduces the concept of a 鈥漰age minimum鈥 instead of a 鈥減age maximum鈥 because it鈥檚 a lot better to disappoint someone with 3 pages instead of 7
 
Grad school professors: everything is open book because who fucking cares. Two hour class? More like 45 minutes pls go home and get some rest.
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
and then there鈥檚 shay: your claim must fit these 27 outlined requirements and if you write one word less than 10 pages i鈥檓 giving you the death penalty.
 
i鈥檝e said it once and i鈥檒l say it again. WHAT COLLEGE DID U GO TO IVE NEVER WRITTEN LESS THAN A FOUR PAGE PAPER IN MY CLASSES wtf?!
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
I had a philosophy professor that just had us watch different episodea of the twilight zone. When an episode ended he'd ask us our opinion and when we'd raise our hands he'd say "nah I don't care" and we'd watch another episode.....
 
never forget junior year of HS we had to pull writing prompts out of a hat for our big 10 page research paper and people got like whole ass paragraphs and my prompt was 鈥渢he fish jumped鈥 like what the ?!?!?
 
ignoring the point of this post, I wrote a whole essay in college about the symbolism of different colours in gatsby and my english teacher told me it was bULLSHIT AND COLOURS DIDNT MEAN ANYTHING im so mad
 
i just wanna know what colleges y'all be going to
 
the way my hs english teacher made me write a 20 page essay analyzing the red scare and mccarthyism in the 1950s and how it related to the salem witch trials,,, yeah im still Recovering from that
 
lmfao g how I feel rn. Mfs want me to analyze Marx, Federici, Linebaugh, and Rediker, and Locke IN ONE PAPER G. Peep how none of those authors have any melanin.
 
My college profs (in Anthropology) wanted 20+ pages at a minimum. They were bemused when I came to office hours because I struggled to arrive at novel scholarship and analysis to fill that many pages. "Honey, this is undergrad, you're doing too much." Oh.
 
This is so fuckin accurate. Especially the 鈥渦se of the color yellow鈥 part. Why were high school English teachers so obsessed with symbolism? And how could they possibly understand and interpret symbols so poorly? AND YES, IM TALKIN BOUT YOU, MRS. HERMES
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
I was so shocked in my year of college. My art history teacher told us to write one paragraph on Greek architecture. That鈥檚 it.
 
what fucking flop ass schools do y'all go to LMAO
 
I produced a 10 page paper about vampires in college. 10 pages. I need to find a copy of it bc wtf
 
college is nothingggg like high school. my highschool teachers exaggerated alottt
 
My dorm had 14 floors with only 5 elevators for 3,200 students. I wrote a 2 pg paper on elevator fights for a war and peace class(you better use the stairs if you live on the 1st 4 floors). My HS junior English teacher would've been pissed about the assignment. 馃ぃ
 
Dude what kind of college assigns this?? If I had to do assignments like this for the past four years I wouldn鈥檛 be depressed and anxious constantly lmao
 
LMAOO 鈥測ou can write more than 2 pages i just won鈥檛 read it鈥
 
Le prof de theories of european integration
 
My world religions teacher in college made me write 100 pages on all the various religions we鈥檇 learned of and which one I agree with most. Bitch I plagiarized like 90% of it. I know she didn鈥檛 read it because I agreed with satanism and she gave me an A+
 
my criminology lecturer set an essay word count at 3,000 but told us "anything around 1000 is fine too"
 
I wrote 50+ essays in a single class in my junior year of high school. I've written 5 so far this year
 
WHAT HIGH SCHOOLS AND COLLEGE DID YALL GO TO
 
one time i wrote a term paper on celtic goddesses & it was more of an extravagant bullet point list sans the bullet points & i got a B
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
I wrote about all the colours in Gatsby and it was the best essay ever omg.
 
Viendo c贸mo algunos profes se leyeron mis dos TFGs, debo discrepar. Y eso que uno era un tocho de 150 p谩ginas (con varios anexos, pero se los leyeron)
 
One of my professors practically begged the class to make our writing assignments as short and simple as possible. He legit said 鈥渁 good sentence could be three words鈥
 
Mr Berger junior year @ the first one 馃槀
 
My ultimate goal on academic papers was to keep my profs interested on reading my paper so they will not get bored halfway and start sleeping.
 
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
I do not remember it this way exactly but yeah, pretty much. Ain鈥檛 nobody got time to read that shit.
 
i vividly remember reading the great Gatsby during my sophomore year and them making us write about the symbolism of the colors and shit, like it鈥檚 really not THAT important
 
Be honest: what kinda Professor energy do you think I have 馃憖
 
long ass paragraphs are long forgotten in college. prof: paragraph answer? you think i'll read that?
 
BIOCHEM LAB REPORTS
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
hi to everyone reading this. me and a few doctoral students i know write college essays to help pay off student loans, etc. dm me if you're interested. we all charge $25 pp. 鉁 good luck out there.
 
il mio prof di letteratura inglese in un tweet
 
where y鈥檃ll finding these professors? mine are always formal as fuck and don鈥檛 go to trivia nights with students
 
 
LMAOOO this is exactly how it was
 
Where the hell did you go? I had 5 page papers due twice a week for 3 years. Every third week was an 8-page paper and final papers were anywhere from 10-16 pages
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
y'all this is my life. If I go over the word limit I have a penalty 馃槶
 
Meanwhile our criminal law teacher: ok guys write an essay, if it's less than 5 pages, you got an F
Us: *write 20 pages* *turn it in*
The teacher: what the fuck would i want this for, take it back, I DON'T WANT IT
 
which college bc i have a 16 page paper on american foreign policy in afghanistan like bro ill do it for u in like a sentence: bush is a dumbass
 
THIS LITERALLY HAPPENED TO ME TODAY MY CITATIONS WERE ON PAGE 5 and MY PROMPT SAID 3 TO 4 AND SHE WAS LIKE 鈥業TS KINDA LONG馃槄鈥
 
Os professores do semestre passado
 
I literally wrote a 5 page paper on spongebob in a philosophy class
 
maaan yess and in school i would write so much even more than the pages we were told and teachers loved it but now i have to fit everything in max 5 pages this is so sick and twisted
 
This facts馃槀 they tried to scare us in hs
 
Nah see, the college professor wants 10 pages too. They just only read the first three pages
 
This takes me back to when we read The Great Gatsby in Rossi鈥檚 class!!! Now that I鈥檓 thinking about it he was fucking funny!!
 
I WISH
it's the other way around for me
 
 
is this how it feels to write essays outside the humanities
 
It would be 鈥渇ewer,鈥 as it is a countable amount, not 鈥渓ess.鈥 I鈥檇 go with color as a motif in a specific chapter, not for the entire novel. These kids are getting off too easy.
 
In reply to @TheDreamGhoul
Plot twist: I鈥檓 very drawn to the teacher/professors stories in this thread.
 
I spent a whole semester of a writing class perfecting a 10 page paper... college really was never anything highs school teachers said lmao
 
God I loved this about college. Friends would be freaking out about explaining their thesis well enough in low-page-count papers and I'd be excited about how much less stress I'd have when I was inevitably writing the night before it was due
 
 
A college can charge whatever they want while giving this shitty of an education and that is why we need student debt forgiveness
 
Teachers do be like
So I set the date to Sunday but I won't actually get to it before Wednesday so just have it done by then
 
In reply to @beth_hall8
@beth_hall8 write and critically analyse an entire 8 page experiment in no more than 125 words 馃槀馃槄
 
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